Just As It Should Be

He's the kind of guy that goes and goes.  He's driven. He doesn't stop to meditate or process; this isn't one of his characteristics.  He sees a need, he fills it.  An opportunity is available to be of use, he signs up for it.  Although he recognizes that life is busy, busier than normal, he knows it will pass.. To get frantic or weary, isn't a thought he has.  He sees life in the moment, choosing to make use of every minute.  He looks at it as if "times-a-wasting";  his attitude is, "Let's do this thing".

Behind all the action, his wife stops and processes life as it comes, constantly.  She fears many things:  being forgotten as a wife, that she won't get the attention she thinks she needs, that he will spend too much time with another "team" and because of the type of environment he is in, she's afraid of losing his heart  for another.  She worries what the kids are going to remember about Dad being gone helping others.  Are they going to become bitter, lonely, or angry?  She knows that largely depends on her own attitude.  She worries about that too.

So, she focuses on being thankful and supportive, even when she feels spent in every aspect.  She's feeling wobbly, emotionally, tired physically, and unreasonable mentally. But she recognizes this as an opportunity to be strong spiritually; for it's then she goes to God and drinks from His Word.  The pages of calm, wisdom, and truth pound away at the fears and "what ifs", just like waves on the stones of the beach.

She asks God for wisdom in "getting through" to her husband in explaining all this, but realizes that this may not be a prayer that is good for her growth.  Does she really need to explain "all this"?  What is her intent in gaining his understanding?

These are the times when she learns to cling to her Savior. In these times, she has to let go of her own way to be surrendered to God's way, God's way of leaving all fears, doubts, and lonely times in His hands to decipher.  It is a time of sorting through what needs to be explained to husband and what can be let go.  A time to practice  things like: forgiveness, grace, and peacemaking.  It is another realization of how God's way really does work:  husband leading as God directs, wife trusting husband to do it correctly, while learning more about submission. And finally, a time for the kids to see our roles playing out in real life, all working toward honoring and showing Christ to others which is our ultimate goal.  All is well; just as it should be.


Explanation:  Sunday mornings seem to be the time I get sideswiped and overwhelmed with processing.  Yesterday, was especially poignant because Bruce was called away for most the service.  I sat there struggling for the right attitude and this is what came out.  I don't think I am alone. I think all women go through this to some extent; some, more gracefully than others.   Pastor's wives go through more of these times than many will ever notice.  We just expect they will be mature and not have bitter feelings toward all the time their husbands spend helping others meet their spiritual needs.  I want to say to all my friends, who are also pastor's wives, that I think of you and your sacrifice.  I pray for you to have wisdom and strength during your lonely times; to use those times to feel God's comfort through His Word.