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Spring Thaw

It's the time of year when you feel you are missing something.  Is it someone's birthday? Some family member or friend maybe?  Your brain is foggy trying to peel away layers of winter and ice.  Sporadic burst of energy hit as the sun moves in and out behind spring clouds.  Your mind feels alert, then dulls as gray merges with bright white.
Fingers itch for the feel of cool earth Nose twitches with the smell of green Emerging buds on nearby living plants. Ears are tuned to the honk of geese and cry of the loon As they float and fly nearby over misty waters.
Thawing after winter is slow hard work.  Fingers are rusty with lack of tap tap tapping out the words  Frozen up in my heart.
I learned a lot this winter. About life and marriage and being steadfast in both. My feet still go through the ice in places; I struggle to find my footing and solid ground.  My words are stuck to the roof of my mouth.  The thoughts simply will not thaw and loosen.  But its time. Time to thaw and flo…

Monday Musings

Tackling a few hard things today...because it Monday and I can.
Do you know, the harder I try to sort out life without writing things down, and the harder I try to be all mature and deal with things as they come without analyzing... like I assume most people do... the worse it gets! It's like trying to unravel the biggest ball of tangled yarn. Impossible.

I'll start with loneliness. I think surely it is a foreign word to some. I myself never knew what it meant until I got so busy trying to keep up while teaching school. I learned its true meaning in those years because I simply did not have the luxury of time and coffee chats and spaces of empty in which to meander away the hours in thought and meditations or even in listening. Every allotted moment was figured out for me.

Anyway...it appears it can become a habit. Because once I was in the habit of not talking to people as much, just staying busy was easier. Even after coming home. It became too exhausting to try to put what…

You Did Everything Right

I'm not gonna lie. I panic sometimes. And when I do;  I forget what I know. Everyone has a weakness at some point. Panicking might not be your weakness but you have one; so don't judge. Or you can if you want. I don't care. My quest here is to be honest and real about living for Jesus. If I were perfect I wouldn't need Jesus. So there you have it. Honesty requires very little judgment.

What I panic about is random and varied. Recently, while sitting in a counselors office, our counselor told me that when I am triggered to panic {as he noticed I am apt to do in my relationship with my husband} that my goal in that moment is walk into Jesus arms...and Jesus focus. In that moment fill me up with Jesus by remembering I am whole and complete and already accepted. I don't have to try to win my husbands approval or get it right...I already did when Jesus took me as his own and made me right. I hadn't felt right for years, with all my striving to be the perfect and ad…

Steadfast: My Word for 2020

It has been quiet over here in Blog Land. I've been asked a lot lately if I am writing. I've been writing alright. I've filled notebooks and journals and Bible margins with my thoughts. But to actually sit down and just say what the battle is all about and to try to explain it seems unfair. You don't actually need to know someone else's turmoil, assuming you have your own to work through.

Words should be seasoned with grace that it may benefit those who listen. Eph 4:29  I very much believe that and was waiting to get through to the part where I might benefit the listener. I don't have much, but a few things I am learning I feel do praise God and bring glory to the name of Jesus.

A good writer blatantly says it like it is...or at least there is simple clarity and no beating around the bush. You have no idea how I would love to do that. Yet, Grace. Grace matters and respect and love and kindness. And so I hem around the edges in my attempt to extend those things…

When its Hard and Life Hurts

I've been given the privilege to teach Sunday school at our local body of believers. It doesn't really frighten me, the ladies are so gracious and kind with their thoughts, but it does overwhelm me going through the Epistles of John. Because you see, it caught me in a most vulnerable time in my life.

Vulnerable times are growing times... so they say. I will tell you that being vulnerable and honest it is also hard and painful. My point of vulnerability is all this talk of Love and me realizing I'm not very good at it. Or at least my weaknesses make me feel I'm not very good at it. 

It is no fun to unearth a truth you have worked long and hard to avoid and smother. Especially when you didn't realize that was what you were doing the past several years while you were climbing a mountain somewhere else, figuratively of course. Also those mountains that consume you for periods of time are not bad, in some ways they grow you up in other areas. But after, when you come back…

Gorgeous You

I just wrote a new "About Westwoods" post and decided after trying to summarize our life and the changes our lives have made, that there is something very startling about our family picture compared to the old one that was on my page for the past three years, and that maybe I should do a post about some personal changes to my appearance.

This post is for my girl audience only. Not that I know of any men that read my blog...but just saying, this could be a bit boring for you.

In the last four years or so you may have noticed my hair color and my weight gain. Or maybe you didn't but I thought I'd tell you about it anyway. I also thought I'd share a few personal ideas about health and beauty and overall self care.

this is me currently...

and this was 2017 

When I was nearing the age of forty, the same year I started my school teaching stint, I made yet another valiant effort to reach my goal weight, to be fit and toned, and to be brave to life's challenges. I preache…

I Have Many Things to Say

Did you know that it isn't always right to be honest and real with a person? I have very recently learned this in a new light. I knew it was best to stay on the side of kindness in attempting to saying things honestly and I knew that sometimes it's much kinder to just out and say it, because no one likes to be made a fool. The kinder thing in those cases is to at least warn honestly. I digress.

I did attempt to introduce a truth I had discovered to someone I love recently, and it did not have the desired effect. Instead of a conversation that flowed with milk and honey, I noticed a major shut down. The one I was attempting to love put on proverbial running shoes and fled the scene as fast and hard as they could.

I've discovered that people hurt deeply in some areas of their lives. And it often depends on their experiences in relationships that determines at what point they have been hurt. No one is going to process life's scars the same way you do. You might be great at …