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In Your Presence Is Joy Forevermore

I tell myself I don't have writers block...I don't know what that is...I think I have workers block, I've been working so hard at getting school going that I haven't had time to put thought to paper. But believe me, the thoughts are there.

And every time I make a start there is an interruption or something of higher importance than me explaining life and how it works. The truth is, I don't know how it works and many parts of my life are unfinished business without many plain answers. 
I do have two plain answers though, and that is that prayer works and Psalm 16:11 is so true...I can testify, People...Let me get a witness! Amen...
I remember as a young child I barged into my parents room to ask my mom a question and I found her on her knees imploring God in the heavens. I felt shocked and a little bit scared and very embarrassed that I had interrupted such sacred territory. Since then, I have remembered this picture often; I too have fled to my room for solace and hav…

Lonely in our Churches

You were saying only one person told you they were praying for the pain you are going through today. That it felt lonely and nobody cares. You feel cynical and jaded by peoples lack of interest. You feel judge-y because of their wealth and your poverty and still they do nothing to support the cause you have given your heart to.
You said said you struggle to understand those that have a burden or calling to foster and adopt, when it is obvious they already juggle normal living... badly. You wonder why they would choose to serve in this way if they are hardly able to keep body and soul alive at home.
You said you could never do what I do, that you don't know how I put up with the things I do each day...because of the dynamics of my job, my people, my soft heart annoys you- you wonder why I don't just walk away and think less...why I bother to listen to their …

When You Go to Encourage and You Leave Being the Encouragee

It was a warm evening, the sun leaving leftover warmth that permeated from the wood of the pavilion. A sun peered golden pink just above the mountains. It was the kind of evening perfect for sitting next to the love of your life while watching the flames of a campfire dance...

Only he wasn't there again. Through out the evening I wondered why had I even bothered to come to this event...but something had drawn me and encouraged to me to get out of my tendency of self pity, to indulge less in my constant sorrow of my husband always working...serving the less fortunate and the just go and see who I could listen to or encourage.

Truthfully, my self righteous thoughts of encouraging others felt hypocritical. I had already totally blown it in my spirit. I knew that the right thing to do was to show up and "Smile, tho your heart is breaking"...

 I was bone tired of smiling and giving and doing the right thing. I wanted a gold medal award for how long and how hard I had b…

How Long Is This Going to Last?

That seems to be the natural worry whenever someone is facing or is in the midst of a hardship. No one wants to hang out where the going gets hard. We know there is no instant bliss for pain that goes deep, especially heart pain. But still, we wonder if we can endure these tests of endurance and fatigue. We might even doubt what we believed to be God's will because of the constant obstacles in our path.
Early this summer my husband took me away for an overnight date. A date I pretty much demanded of God (I prayed and cried to God for that date). I felt desperate for attention for us. We simply get too busy coping with school, jobs, and people, that pretty soon there is no more us. We had a lovely, boring time. I found it amusing that boring had become a lovely thing.
The next morning, in the breakfast room of our hotel, we (everyone in the breakfast room) were privileged to a play by play of a failing marriage. It was a small room, but seriously, Lower your voice, Lady! The narrato…

Who He Is

Things I wonder about:

Does God want His people to be dominant? And if someones personality happens to be aggressive and dominant and this bothers me does that say something about my own lack of humility? 

How much should we depend on others for our fulfillment? Relationships are important; God created us to be social beings. So why do we go away from social gatherings feeling a lack?

Should a Christ follower choose to shut off the extra noise around them for need of a rest? And is it a sign of weakness if you do? 

Just because your atmosphere is rock and hardness, if you begin to sprout green fronds and unfold into a beautiful wild fern, you totally should. Grow where you are planted and all that. Don't let your surroundings determine you cliche...thank you, Little Fern.

Nothing is better learned than by humility. When I just am...without overpowering you with my knowledge...and I share my experience and my sorrows along with my joys...then we can learn what to do with…

Analogies That Don't Work

Last year as soon as school was out we took our family and sailboat to Florida for a dreamy vacation. It turned out rather un-dreamy. One of the most vivid memories I have on the trip is fixing a boxed dinner while standing over the alcohol burner stove. All of us were stuffed inside that small space with torrents of rain pouring down on top our boat and finding every leak along the hatch and main and windows. Everything was supposed to be sealed. Anyway, it rained a lot. And I was cooking dinner that I knew the family would not enjoy and was feeling pretty lousy about it. It was as if everyone's misery was my fault.

 During the times of no rain and a little extra room on the boat, God kept taking me to Matthew 6 about alms and doing them before men to be seen of them. I could not make the connection between feeling like a failure to my family with lack of dry clothes and decent food and soothing salve for the no see um bites and doing alms. Yet that's what kept coming up in …

Thoughts about Age and Wisdom

It's my mom's birthday. I think about age a lot lately. My parents are extremely blessed with good health even though they are in their seventies. I am extremely blessed to have them in the same community. I know this, yet it seems I don't spend near enough time with them.

Or maybe I do. I was home most the week just doing what moms do. I could go over to my parents house every day and check on them, they live only about five minutes from my house...I kept thinking these nagging guilty thoughts that I am a crummy daughter for not being there more.

Then I thought how wonderful it is to be current with them no matter what. And that I am current with them even when I'm staying home. I know them and they know me. Even knowing they are of the age that our times together could be numbered, to be on their couch every day checking their pulses would be unhealthy for all of us.

Meanwhile I'm thankful they're still around. It's really nice to have someone who has gone b…