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Crippling Leadership Worship

I am a little bewildered when I witness hero worship in adults. Christian adults using flattery and 'kissing up' is just so repulsive. I got to thinking about that and what causes it and why it's not OK and how a Christ follower should actually "be" when it comes to admiration of other human beings. 

As for causes, I believe it is our lack of direction and trust in our lives. We feel empty and search for meaning in what our brother or sister thinks. We seek approval for our empty feelings; we look for meaning from someone who has more authority or knowledge on a subject.

Audry Assad sings in I Shall Not Want:

From the need to be understood
From the need to be accepted
From the fear of being lonely
Deliver me, O God.

Yes, that explains the causes of hero worship best. We, ourselves, want to be admired and affirmed so we seek understanding, acceptance, and the company of others' beliefs.

God says: "Thou shalt have no other gods before Me". This is the command…

A Day in the Life

Morning comes. I have waited for it, sleep being a strange commodity these days. I methodically stumble through the darkened room, grabbing items for after my shower. It's been the same ritual for the past four years. Sometimes I find I still have my eyes closed, half way through getting ready for the day.

Still tip toeing around other sleeping members of the house, the coffee pot and kitchen calls me deeper into wakefulness. I read the verse of the day on my phone app as I sip the first taste of morning, then open my real Bible and read a little more something. It is always different since I prefer the bits of non schedule and general disarray of my devotional habits. There is enough schedule and 'by the books' in my day already. This morning time of coffee and Bible is too personal to make formal. 

My desk is still there, yesterdays quizzes needing put away, today's quizzes pulled. A scrap piece of paper has names with books needed from the shelves upstairs. I used to …

Don't Put Me in a Box

Maybe it's forty something years in me
Or maybe it just new found independence.
 Either way,
I find I don't fit in
Anyone's boxes.
I won't. I shouldn't.

It's not 
One size fits all.
I know my size
I see my flaws just fine.
Sometimes glaringly
Like monsters under my bed.

I'm working on it. 
I spend time with God too.
My ears hear you
But my heart has another thing going on.
Your thing is important.
Mine is too.

Both important things
Are best understood,
In the presence of Our Lord.
Instead of predicting, sorting,
Confusing the facts
With words...

Instead of turning the crank
On that jack in the box
And smashing it all back inside
With an arm poking out...
You can't figure me out
It's not your job.

I won't fit in your box 
But you need me.
We need each other
To understand and trust
That we have the same tools
Jesus, God, and The Holy Ghost.

Pray for me.
I pray for you.
We are not the enemies
Of each other.
We must look together
At the Author and Finisher
Of our Faith.

True Peace/ Love Holds

Peace on Earth goodwill toward men is an illusory thing at our house on a Sunday morning. Between the battle for a hot shower, who helps fix dinner, and who shovels the snow, peace sorta disappears in a "poof".

I sat down yesterday morning after trying hard to make all this a peaceful occasion, After all, it's Christmas...Why are we bickering about the simple and basic things of life? Why do we ever? How good it would be if we could get a glimpse of the non- importance of perfectly prepared meals, sidewalks, and hot water.

But that also is not reality. We love our creature comforts and practises which make our lives more convenient later. Just not every family has a mom that sits reeling afterward wondering how she can make them all be kind in application.

I take things too personal, or so I've been told. How to not? It is personal. They are my people. I have a deep connection with them...bone of my bone, flesh of my flesh.

But peace can be invented and tweaked like a ph…

A Rich Life

I started a blog post a couple weeks ago about how to deal with conflict but it got stale while I was trying to deal with my own. Meanwhile school sale projects and report cards and moving took over. Also with driving back and forth to Diamond Lake every weekend things got a bit hectic and I gave up on resolving the conflict in my life. Instead I decided to go with it and see what happens. This post is about what happens.



This was dawn at the lake house last weekend...I was only here one short night last week. Alone. I left the girls back at Bonners Ferry with friends...We also received news that day that someone wanted to buy our house and wanted us out by the 30th. 

Well then...That doesn't leave much time...we better get crackin...

SO we worked endless long hours this week trying to finish up moving to find out the deal fell through. Ain't life grand? It's all been a very good thing though...after one night of devastation and horror we awoke with great courage and faith th…

Because I Can't Explain

And also because I am so very far behind with writing and thoughts and because that really bothers me...I am doing a picture post to bring you up to date with our lives.


This is a photo I took the day after we signed papers for a house on Diamond Lake. Yes, we bought our dream home. And yes, we own two homes currently but listed the one in Bonners Ferry today because well, it's just plain extravagant and foolish to own two homes when you are forty and not at all set up for your golden years.



The plan was to eventually move somewhere closer to Spokane, Washington for Bruce to begin practicing nursing...graduation is in the spring if he passes his final semester...That we are doing it this early in the game might be foolish too. We will surely find out. However, It seemed like a golden opportunity when we found this lovely property on Diamond Lake at an affordable price, at least, affordable for a lake side property.



 In the meantime, we continue to live and breathe and have our be…

In Your Presence Is Joy Forevermore

I tell myself I don't have writers block...I don't know what that is...I think I have workers block, I've been working so hard at getting school going that I haven't had time to put thought to paper. But believe me, the thoughts are there.

And every time I make a start there is an interruption or something of higher importance than me explaining life and how it works. The truth is, I don't know how it works and many parts of my life are unfinished business without many plain answers. 
I do have two plain answers though, and that is that prayer works and Psalm 16:11 is so true...I can testify, People...Let me get a witness! Amen...
I remember as a young child I barged into my parents room to ask my mom a question and I found her on her knees imploring God in the heavens. I felt shocked and a little bit scared and very embarrassed that I had interrupted such sacred territory. Since then, I have remembered this picture often; I too have fled to my room for solace and hav…