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  Good Morning, I haven't been here in a while but I have been writing almost everyday. I wish I could tell you I've unlocked a secret to living a life of praise and joy, but I think this challenge might become a lifelong journey. And that's ok. Because what a wonderful pursuit!   I did write a little thing one morning as I was in the middle of a muddle. Did you ever get stuck in your own mire of worry or fear? Have everyday trials of trying to communicate love to others and falling far short of your mark bewildered you... and you wonder why bother? I think this is why we should bother...                                 To Look Beyond To look beyond... The problem and  difficulty The lack of The mistakes and  flaws The chaos and disorder To see more than... The apparent and obvious The painful  The glaringly pointless The jack in the box thing that won't stop surprising you Beyond is where I see... Jesus Almighty God His power to do  What He already is doing Invisible t

Joy in the Walk Alone...Or Learn to Tie Your Own Shoes

  How can I tell you more about joy and rejoicing without sounding preachy and like I know anything? Because I do know more about joy every day. And it is worth preaching about. But you have to be there to understand it. IYKYK...But please! Can't it be put into words? After my last blog post, I went home and had to practice rejoicing in an extremely difficult situation. My suffering and pain was, as usual, of the emotional kind. Some of us are given this gift of getting to experience the highs and lows without very much level ground. I'm calling it a gift because this is the way through to rejoicing. How I think about the trial in my story changes completely if I can recognize that God is with me in it. Not denying that there is a trial. But lifting the trial to Jesus to carry and rejoicing in what He is doing that I cannot see. Trusting and resting in Mighty God for His care of me in what feels like rejection and sorrow. And smiling through the tears. Because I joy in Him. I f

Who Daily Loadeth us With Benefits

  Sometimes you have to dig deep to know it tho...  Whether or not you see it or feel it, it is true. God truly does load us with benefits and goodness. I sat on a beautiful beach chair recently at an idyllic setting of sand and waves. The sky was blue, the sounds of happy people playing all around me. But I carried a broken heart. I was lonely and beaten. It felt heavy. So I sat pleading for God to show me joy and hope. There is often a reason for loneliness, being beaten and heavy, sometimes it is even legit. But it's not a place we want to stay. Also, in the moment, I tend to be very careful to whom I admit these things. Because God. He is doing a work in our hearts that is often messy and not so pretty.  There are days of all out kicking and screaming on the floor of my spirit that I have found can only be heard by Jesus. There is construction tape around the scene or maybe yellow tape indicating a crime.  The point is, we have to move on and find answers, healing, and please y

You Go On

  Good Morning,  I'm hoping this will be short. We'll see.  How was your 4th of July? I was given the sweet gift of quiet and alone on the fourth and it revived my soul. I worry about that sometimes but mostly I just enjoy it. I love my people, but I also love the quiet and thoughts and sorting and giving over to God. It's true, the tendency to over think and become too reflective is there, but also is the habit of talking out loud to God with no one around to witness it and my pouring over my Bible like digging for treasure. It's not like I'm pious or spiritual or that I'm trying to be holy so I can write down pretty words to sound good. It's more like like life blood. I need it to survive the blasts of living. My heart still aches with pain and suffering from the way the great big world turns to relationship losses I have personally experienced. I need Jesus time to survive what the heart cannot explain or the brain can comprehend. I fall back on the sweet


  So very many ways to get off track...'prone to wander Lord I feel it...prone to leave the God I love'. I feel this deeply. There seems to be a pull in taking our eyes off Jesus every which way you turn. Everyday things happen innocently and before you know it you're smacked up side the head with a huge problem. If it's not your own dire need of help and wisdom, it's a friend, brother, sister, husband or child that is overwhelmed within his/her soul. If we aren't willing to recognize the things that keep us wandering lost, confused, frustrated, and in a constant state of dither...well then, my friend, you shall never have peace. And a Christ follower should be at peace. There should be a calm and joy hanging around his aura. Not perpetual harm and injury being done to self and others. Such as be the case when one is distracted from Jesus. So life has a way of taking you back home. Home to your roots and beginnings and the very core of your life. I recently went

The Heart of a Mama

Today is Mother's Day as everyone knows. I don't really know how to celebrate Mother's Day. I've always come back to the fact that it has more meaning when I think about the kind of mom I am to my children over the awesome ness of my mom. And she is awesome. So that's not a problem. But anyway. Being a mom is fulfilling but also it breaks your heart. It hurts to see your kids go through life's wonderful phases of decisions and choices and rejections. They get to have the bad days too. And we need to let them have that. But it's still hard to watch. I'm so very proud of my kids. I don't know if I would've been able to handle social media and technology at their age as well as they do. This metaphorical piece is all about the pulls on the heart. I have a few these days. It keeps me on my knees or flat out on my face at the foot of the cross. "With groanings that cannot be uttered" Romans 8:26  The strings and strains of a mama heart, c an

The Walk of Loss

  First of all, I need to mention a very minimal loss that has happened about three times to me in the history of all my writing efforts. And that is the loss of something I had written. I thought I had even written it well. It was one of the pieces I almost felt good about(a writer is her worst critic).  Anyway. somehow I click on something to make this well written piece go into the abyss of the computer and could not-no way find it or retrieve it. Which makes me doubt it was any good or that I actually had something worth sharing or maybe even it wasn't the will of my Father that others heard the message I thought I had to share. Or maybe it was just the timing of things...maybe after a day of mulling it over and and asking the Almighty for clarity on it I have a better perspective. I'm pretty sure though that we have all walked the walk of loss at some point. And everyone feels acutely the pain of losing someone or something, a dream or goal.  I follow a twenty something pe