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Fall Green and Thoughts About Wimpy Christians

Don't let the title dissuade you. I'm not admitting fall is in the air, but there has definitely been a break in the heat and the rains over the weekend have certainly greened up the grass I've been struggling to keep alive. The air is cooler too. Its almost like I smell... dare I say it? Well...fall.

Now that we have that out in the open, I will attempt to put into words what I really want to say. It's about Jesus. And living for Him. And trying to explain why you shouldn't try so hard to be smart and in control and freaked out when things go so very wrong.

Because we live in a fallen world, because we are humans prone to mistakes...and things will go bad, rotten, and wrong...it is the nature of things...because of these things we get discouraged and begin to question the goodness of God.

 We also begin to question who God is when we are following too closely on the heels of people. We feel safe when we follow other Christ followers, especially those that have a PhD …

When Its Dry

I have this tiny front yard that needs water daily just to survive. Something in the way its situated makes it difficult for rain to reach most of it. The previous owner obviously spent more time than I do setting up sprinklers in strategic places. And this is not as dry a summer as usual.

So I found a setting on the nozzle of the garden hose called 'soaker', which seems to work better than a sprinkler because it requires me standing behind it and watering according to desire of wetness. I can see the spots that need soaking better than my sprinkler. And as I stand there giving the dry ground a good soak, I think of all the dry spots in my life and my people's lives and pray for them.

Now these are not wordy prayers. I'm not even sure they are good prayers. It's more watering the surface than anything, because I don't know the depth to which the dryness goes. I just kinda eyeball it like the ground and trust God will use it according to need.

Bruce says rather…

Not Shocked

There are way too many things to talk about here so I will try to narrow it down to one or two. They may or may not correlate.

I have been asked my opinion on well-known established organizations that have been exposed of their ongoing sins... organizations that have functioned for years under the guise of "conservative" and "spiritual"...what do I think about it?

First of all, I'm not sure what good it does for one more voice to say what they think...I personally cannot bear to hear one more opinion... although I will admit this is a bit reactionary from the last four years of intense-ness. However I will just say this. It's about time. It's about time we realize that conservative Anabaptist people are just that. People are people are people the world over. It is past time to break down our little kingdoms of self righteousness in our heritage and realize we are human and sinners and no better than anyone.

We are all crawling with filth and grime and in n…

Who Do I Love the Most..Me or God?

If you've ever been in a spot of discomfort after a conversation and you keep repeating in your mind what he or she said and what you said back, you will probably understand the thinking behind this question. Are you uncomfortable with the way the conversation went because you are afraid you sounded dumb? Or wrong? 


Have you ever felt tortured by your thoughts after a false accusation or an insinuation that you were misunderstood? Did you feel like smoke was coming out your ears from not being given the chance to explain yourself?

Maybe you've gone through a time of doing great things, performing or trying to please someone in particular with your talents of compassion and ability to reach out. Maybe you were good at it and did impress a few people. Maybe you were even given high praise.

Do you find yourself craving, even needing affirmation? Do want to be noticed for your good deeds or quality of character? Do you long for people to look up to you and come to you for advice? Do …

What it's Like to Be Home

I have noticed in the blog world, it isn't really a thing any more. The last year of teaching kept me too busy to clearly and cohesively put together thoughts to share. It was a plumb miracle if I got the bare basics done. Now that I am back, I find a few faithful bloggers and am comforted. I plan to stay. Now that I am home, I plan to write and write and write. You have been warned. 😏

The profound thought chasing around my head the last several weeks of school was...

"Everyone stop trying to impress each other. Just quietly do the stuff God gave you to do and mind your own business!" 

Now that was nicely summarized and I'm sure you have no idea what I am preaching about. I'll leave that for another time when I'm feeling more upset about it. I kinda lost my oomph for that sermon anyway.

Being at home is a pinch me I'm dreaming kind of feeling. It doesn't feel super real yet. Reality takes over in time for meals and laundry, something of which my family i…

My Attempts to Love

And to know the love of Christ, which passeth knowledge, that ye might be filled with the fullness of God...Eph. 3:19

I remember praying for love for others, because I wasn't getting along with them and because I wanted better results from our relationship.

This verse tho, leads me to believe that it's not about my ability to love others so much as it's my 1st priority to love Christ. If I know the love of Christ; I taste and feel the results of knowing in my everyday living. I react correctly to conflict. I don't retaliate or be defensive because my goal is to see how this helps me to know the love of Christ.

It does pass knowledge and understanding. The love of Christ digs deeper into my nothingness and need of Christs' power. "Nothing in my hands I bring, simply to the cross I cling" with everything. Those conflicts or relationships that are too hard for me are helping me to know the love of Christ.

And then, I am filled with the fullness of God...because …

The Things We Never Said

It is just our pride that smarts when someone takes a confession we finally became vulnerable enough to share, and then in response, interprets it completely wrong...as in an 180*. 

It is just our pride that thinks all week of a retort to make back in a wish to set the record straight. Because...look at all those other people who heard what you said about me and how you put words into my mouth that I never said or felt. You sputter and think and retort and think and storm and thunder until you come back to... Well, your precious pride.

Pride is what makes us hurt when we are given advice we were not looking for. In my case, all three of these came in one fell swoop. I would love to tell you I learned something through it, that I came forth as gold, that I no longer smart, hurt, or sputter for proper understanding. But I didn't.

I did try to think it through though, in a logical way, something that doesn't come easily for me. And the more I tried to chase it down and forgive it an…