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Showing posts from September, 2016

Go Deeper

Individualism or  Me-ism, Conformist or Nonconformist, should a Christ follower be any of these? Every now and then you meet a person who fits no mold.  They are the kind of people that will not follow the rules, who don't mind making waves, and also enjoy getting attention in a pretend humble, embarrassed way.  They claim praise and admiration make them uncomfortable.  They feel they have a higher calling than others to set the trends and make important changes in the world they live. The subject is too difficult for me to dissect...  I get it... this is how some of what I write makes people feel.  I have gathered that my thoughts sometimes come across as being too individualistic or that I think I am extra specially outfitted with unusual problems.  To be clear, I am perfectly aware that all of the battles I fight are the same ones you do. Let me just say this in my defense...I believe the best way to identify with people is to say things as honestly as possible and to admi

Fall...Not Quite Poetry

I love the fall season more each year. It is such a celebration for all the abundance of summer. The colors of nature giving one last oomph and saying "hurrah"! A chance to sit back and re-evaluate the busyness of green and heat and then dry... In fall, we think cozy thoughts and plan coffee breaks with pumpkin-y flavors. We light candles and listen to classical music.  We read books in the basement of our hometown libraries...  We could molder there along with these old friends, for the love of books and leather chairs and imaginary worlds. On the way out of the library we stop on the sidewalk to say hello to another... Then stroll home across the bridge over the water where leaves fall and twirl on whirlpools as they lazily float away... A pot of chili and a pan of cornbread...  served in a chunky bowl gives warmth and comfort. Family altogether quiet in the early dark of the evenings, each one in a different book, different world, yet all here expe

How Marriage Has Taught Me To Love My Church

As writers often do, I am now going to flip this discussion of  "What Church Should Be", and look at the very choice of words that make me cringe...loving the Church.  I'll admit it, the cringing is reactionary. I was churched in a setting that was not conducive to spiritual growth.  Any kind of real answers were found by my personal digging into the Scriptures.  The authority set up over me was not one I was taught to respect.  It was a sorry state of affairs if I am honest about it; strewn with church splits, politics, and what felt like hierarchy.  If you look up the definition of that particular word, that is exactly what it was. So imagine my surprise while dating my soon- to- be- husband, I found out about another way of thinking.  My astonished boyfriend was the first to bring to my awareness that most people respected and trusted their leadership.  That people did on a normal basis was news to me.  My lack of respect was a pretty big concern to Bruce and I cou

What I Love About Church

This will be a hard post to write because I struggle with this topic. Writers want to be understood and not be taken wrong.  However, I realize stepping out on a limb will usually get a reaction.  I am prepared.  Before you judge these statements, please try to read this thoughtfully and not jump to conclusions until you have heard the whole.    I struggle with church or at least with what church is suppose to be and isn't.  I want to do church as Biblically as possible but along come real humans with their mess of problems and what comes out of it isn't always Biblical, me included...  This is the kind of stuff that leaves me feeling jaded. First of all, I have never been typical.  I think unlike others of my faith.  Maybe I am what others would call a reformer.  Because of this, I am never sure if I dare be completely honest about my beliefs about the way we do baptism and church membership.  I truly do hate to make waves, in that way I am chiefest of wimps, but I do not

Fall is in the Air

  A few things I learned this week:    Praying mantises eat stink bugs for their dinner, antenna first.   Grasshoppers wings have an accordion fold.   Fifth and sixth grade boys love bugs to look at, to scare girls with, and to take apart wing by wing to see whats what.   Forty year old teacher/mamas like bugs too but have little patience for misbehavin... A few things I discovered about living: I miss grownups.   I crave adult conversation.  I thoroughly enjoy kids. And...   I feel like I am in a time out chair right now with God.  All the stuff I ask Him for He removes from my reach.   It feels like He is silent right now or that He is shushing me up.  I have faith that this means I am in the best of care...that right now, He is rocking me telling me to rest and stop wanting things I have no business wanting and to stop asking for so many things.  It's been a time of reflection.  I wonder what God is doing and why is He taking so long to do it.

The First Time I Fell in Love and the Facts of Life

If ever you are bored, come visit me at school over lunch hour with my students.  Today I overheard a girl tell the boy across the table to stop flirting with her.  Minutes before another student let me know something "terribly gross" they had found under "S" in the encyclopedia...They thought that encyclopedia in particular should be taken out.  I asked this student if that was the first they had heard of it and I guess it was.  Ho Boy. Anyway, all this kinda talk triggered a memory from my long ago...It was during summer vacation Bible School.  I suppose I was about ten.  A boy named Joey Tice was in my class and sat across from me each day.  He was the most fascinating and intriguing person I had ever met.  He had the darkest roundest eyes and the most beautiful black skin.  I loved the way his palms were pink compared to the tops of his hands.  When he opened his mouth to laugh, his teeth gleamed white and his tongue flashed pinkie red.  He laughed a lot and I

All in School

Our first day went great!  There is nostalgia of the last year with Josh and Olivia lingering in the halls and classrooms but I think for the most part it went extremely well for how floundered some of us newbies felt. And I didn't feel like such a newbie so that was helpful.  I was able to pull of bossy, confident, and excited by the grace of God of course, I had not that kinda power in myself. In the morning before we all left for school, we took family photos of all of us in our respective schools of life.  We have two high schoolers this year; Toria in her first year of high school and Laife in his last. And Bruce is in his second year of college classes still preparing for a nursing program while working as an ER tech.  I am happy to be teaching the 5th and 6th grades when I look at his studies, all mind boggling to me.  Our baby, Shaunti, is my student one more year.  I love this opportunity to teach her again before she moves up into the junior hig

Summer Fades

Our summer appears to be over.  We start school on Tuesday.  The classroom is ready.  Still waiting on my heart and soul.  I am thankful for the summer months, but this year, summer was not what I had planned it would be.  It was hard.  And I am not alone in this. Several friends felt the same way.  We go through times of testing I guess, even during summer vacation. I think the testing was good and did a number on me all at the same time.  I fall back to being thankful for what God provides even in the hard times.  I had some pretty big questions and rediscovered solid truths...   I'm going to credit the sailing experiences this summer to God.  I would have never wanted or searched or bought a sailboat.  I feel God prompted my husband this way because sailing was healing and grace.  While sailing I could figure out how to forgive a few blows of the heart.  I found peace in the wind.  I found strength to continue in waves and water.  I saw God's love in the blu