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Showing posts from February, 2019

The Things We Never Said

It is just our pride that smarts when someone takes a confession we finally became vulnerable enough to share, and then in response, interprets it completely in an 180*.  It is just our pride that thinks all week of a retort to make back in a wish to set the record straight. Because...look at all those other people who heard what you said about me and how you put words into my mouth that I never said or felt. You sputter and think and retort and think and storm and thunder until you come back to... Well, your precious pride. Pride is what makes us hurt when we are given advice we were not looking for. In my case, all three of these came in one fell swoop. I would love to tell you I learned something through it, that I came forth as gold, that I no longer smart, hurt, or sputter for proper understanding. But I didn't. I did try to think it through though, in a logical way, something that doesn't come easily for me. And the more I tried to chase it down and

Crippling Leadership Worship

I am a little bewildered when I witness hero worship in adults. Christian adults using flattery and 'kissing up' is just so repulsive. I got to thinking about that and what causes it and why it's not OK and how a Christ follower should actually "be" when it comes to admiration of other human beings.  As for causes, I believe it is our lack of direction and trust in our lives. We feel empty and search for meaning in what our brother or sister thinks. We seek approval for our empty feelings; we look for meaning from someone who has more authority or knowledge on a subject. Audry Assad sings in I Shall Not Want: From the need to be understood From the need to be accepted From the fear of being lonely Deliver me, O God. Yes, that explains the causes of hero worship best. We, ourselves, want to be admired and affirmed so we seek understanding, acceptance, and the company of others' beliefs. God says: "Thou shalt have no other gods before Me&qu

A Day in the Life

Morning comes. I have waited for it, sleep being a strange commodity these days. I methodically stumble through the darkened room, grabbing items for after my shower. It's been the same ritual for the past four years. Sometimes I find I still have my eyes closed, half way through getting ready for the day. Still tip toeing around other sleeping members of the house, the coffee pot and kitchen calls me deeper into wakefulness. I read the verse of the day on my phone app as I sip the first taste of morning, then open my real Bible and read a little more something. It is always different since I prefer the bits of non schedule and general disarray of my devotional habits. There is enough schedule and 'by the books' in my day already. This morning time of coffee and Bible is too personal to make formal.  My desk is still there, yesterdays quizzes needing put away, today's quizzes pulled. A scrap piece of paper has names with books needed from the shelves upstairs. I