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As a young child, the subject of eschatology would bring fear to my heart with a grip as strong as anything I had ever felt.  What was worse, was the fact that I already, was strongly decided what I believed about the end of the world.  I was horrified, when an older cousin, after being newly married, came to our house one day for lunch, and made a joke about her new husband and her own differing opinion. She was saying, if he wanted to ride a white horse into heaven she wanted to be with him. Or something like that.  I was smitten with horror at her falling away from "truth" and the fact that she was OK with it.   Don't judge me.  I was little and trying to figure these things out.

So, guess what I did?  I married someone who has differing opinions than myself how everything transpires at the end of time.  I was fearful still about not being agreed, but had peace with the fact that most people really don't agree on this subject completely, and the thing we do agree on is; we want to have a heart, clean and pure, washed by the blood of Jesus.  Then, come what may, we will end up in heaven with Jesus.

  So, I felt less fearful and read the "Left Behind" series.  I even saw part of the one movie.  Double whammy!  The idea of me waking up one morning with all my littles and hubby raptured, with me left here on earth to make a living and survive alone filled me with icy, cold, gripping fear.  The kind that doesn't allow you to function normally.  The kind of fear where you take a flying leap through the air into bed, so that thing underneath doesn't have a chance to grab your ankles on your way by.  Don't laugh.  I really did this when I was little.  Often.

After babies came to our home, fear took on another dimension.  Now, my motherly instincts kicked in, and I was greatly motivated by fear. Motivated to protect and care for children; yet even more fearful of these precious babies future and how they will survive in this crazy world. 

When I was four months pregnant with Toria, our country was hit out of the clear blue sky with what we now call, "911".  My protection that day, was a calm I experienced through avoidance.  I was not going to be ruled by fear now, while pregnant and already unreasonable in thinking.  My mom called me that morning, to see if I had listened to the news and I acted like it was no big deal.  I was like a turtle in my shell.  [If I don't think about it, nothing bad will happen] This was how I functioned for years. I took care of babies and avoided the news.  I was still fearful, but didn't know how to deal with it.

Today's fears: Ebola and ISIS,  Yellowstone's animals fleeing,  Persecuted Christians, Christian's freedoms being taken and abused in our own country, the list is huge.  I only named a few.  

We fear because we do not know.  We don't know what will happen to us personally.  We don't know how we will respond.  We aren't sure we're brave enough.  We don't want to hurt.  We are afraid to love, for fear we will care. We don't want to be too involved with dirt and grime, for fear of being infected. We are afraid to reach out for fear of rejection.

 Not saying I deal with it any better now, but a few things do come to mind.  The Bible verse:  For God has not given us the spirit of fear, but of power and of love, and a sound mind.  ~Timothy

Faith-  in believing that God has my best care in His hands, has been a beautiful way to calm. 

Expect these things to happen-  Sounds backwards in a way, yet, Jesus told us these things would take place.  We were given the warnings.  Jesus didn't say these things and then say," Worry everyday and be fearful." Instead He gave us beautiful words over and over again through scripture.
-Be anxious about nothing
-If I care for the sparrows, how much more do I care for you?
-pray for them that dispitefully use you.
-take no thought for the morrow.
Those are things Jesus told us. 

 The whole Bible is full of his promises for our protection and His care of us.  In the Exodus he gave the Children of Israel a pillar of fire by night and a cloud by day to guide them.  If anyone needed guidance through a terrible time, they did. 

It's scary times.  I know.  But gloom and doom aren't good answers.  We have hope and a reason to NOT fear.  We are able to run at much better capacity, if we are not weighed down by our own fears. Ask God for that power, love and a sound mind.  He gives it all. One moment at a time. Live the one you're in, free of fear.


  1. Just Beautiful. And I have found this all to be true too!

  2. I appreciate this article, more thoughts on this 'heavens next', I will trust and not be afraid, there are so many trust verses, so I will focus on these!


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