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Ramblings Questions Thoughts....

At what age, should girls know without being told, that after a meal the dishes have to be done?  Why am I still telling them?  We have lived without a dishwasher since moving into this old house, going on a year.  It's easier to just do them by myself.  I get so weary of giving direction.  When do they figure it out?

Change of subject... Why do I think that all my time should be consumed with doing something worthy?  Why am I guilty taking a day off to read a book?  Why do I get on edge with uneasiness if I don't fill my moments with "the list" of things to do; Like, cleaning behind my fridge and stove, or inside the stove for that matter?

Why must I be so motivated at all times?  Why has the art of rest escaped me?  I sit down to read or write and think of little sisters or friends that are in the baby\toddler stage and feel guilt.  I remember.  So to feel better for them, I make my list of things that need done and work at jobs I never found the time to do when I was in their stages. 

And then a well-meaning friend says I'm a clean freak and that my house is never messy.  The other morning, on a Monday,  I was going to take pictures to post of my messes. A friend told me she had tried to do the same thing and the pictures didn't show it as bad as it truly was. I changed my mind and felt foolish taking pictures of dirty dishes.  What has the world come to if you have to document these kinds of things to prove you are normal too?  I guess you can only impress yourself with your own dirt.

Two nuggets I hold close to my heart this week...

 #1 My son quietly wrote me a thank-you note and hung it on our fridge.  Just a plain white typing paper full of thank-you mom, for making my bed, washing my clothes, etc... I asked him if it was an assignment in school for him to think of it.  I stole the blessing asking such a thing.  He said he just wanted me to know.  He came up with it on his own.  I should have held my tongue.  He is a sweet young man.  I love him.
#2 My husband was on call last night.  He was gone till midnight.  Two calls, back to back.  One was a transient.  Which means a homeless person. A tough call. He was uncooperative and in bad shape.  This morning, first thing my husband did upon waking, was to call the hospital to see if the man was still there.  If he was, my husband was going to take a coat down to the hospital to replace the one that was cut off during the call. It was 8* this morning.  The man had no shoes on his feet and now no coat. Sadly, he was transported to a bigger city during the night.  That touched my heart deep inside somehow.  My man caring like that.  That's a nugget of goodness.


  1. A few ramblings of my own....Why can't I sew? Why can't I keep a clean house? And why won't the baby sleep like she use to? don't clean behind your fridge for me....take comfort you don't NEED to.

    1. I probably do. I usually only ever do that when we move. So every couple years or so? Don't tell anyone.. I think my biggest babbling is the thought that I have to be doing. Why not just be still and be ok with that? I'm trying to learn.

  2. I love the way you write, Shilah. I can't sleep tonight and am catching up here. :) On the girls getting up to do the dishes without being told: I think that varies SO much with families and personalities and stuff. I remember my mom saying that she used to wonder when we'd start to care and then after we did, we cared too much about how the house looked for company and how dad always got the sink so dirty and whatever. I longed for that day, too. It does come eventually. Take heart.

    We had two big weekends in a row and a lot of stress and I am already planning that tomorrow I'm going to lie on the couch and read. But yeah. Do I ever understand the feeling of guilt that comes with giving yourself time to relax like that!

    I somehow couldn't reply to your mention of emailing sometime about writing stuff. I'd love to if you ever get a whim. My email address is Happy Monday!

    1. Thank-you Luci, I treasure those kind words! I shall email you straight away.


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