Shilah Writes

I remember the first time Matthew chapter six caught my attention. We were confined, our family of five, in our small Macgregor 26' sailboat in a rainy bay in Florida waters. We were anchored somewhere on the northwest side of the peninsula, suffering through a torrential downpour, the dampness of our bodies within a tiny space, filling the cabin with not so pleasant odors and temperaments. We had worn out the games, puzzles, and drawing/artwork supplies, now having moved on to reading and writing in our journals. At least that's what I was doing. It felt funny and wrong to open my Bible to Matthew 6 and see the words of Jesus admonishing to not do the good and right things in life for approval or recognition. Because that's what I was doing. I was trying to be a good mom. I was just trying to get something right in this family memory gone wrong. I wanted my kids to notice that I was trying to make good food and for my husband to notice how brave and strong of spirit I was ...

  It's ten p.m. I should go to bed. But its cold and unfriendly the past eight nights. My bed, that is. I haven't quite caved but have thought of going to Bruce's closet and smelling one of his shirts or sweaters. Instead I look at his empty shoes and glance at the lifeless pieces of fabric hanging on their hangers.  When He started talking about his desire to be a travel nurse my first instinct was to panic and be smitten with fear and disappointment. Because why had I taught four years while he did college for hopes of better tomorrows of time spent together? I was scared and angry combined. And I did struggle not to panic. OK. I did panic off and on. But having just come home from a week of counselling with wise words of what I needed to do instead of panic when I didn't understand and/or was disappointed, I knew I was given this challenge for a purpose. I was told to God-focus. No more ME focus. Go to my safe place(our dock)and tell God every disgusting detail about...

  Yesterday I finally wrote on here and posted, then went to my computer to re-check  things, and somehow deleted it. So back to the drawing board. Because I do want to say this thing that needs to be said. Now, I think it'll be short and to the point instead of being diplomatic and politically correct. I got sideswiped. Taken out of the game. Plowed over. Whatever you call it when life is humming along and you think you are handling things. I'd been studying the Full Armour of God and was being made super aware that those daily trials of getting along with people, especially with those in my house, were the fiery darts of the wicked. So knowing this, I was a little shocked to find myself wiped out of commission.  Meanwhile thinking about Jesus' words to come to Him...the weary and heavy hearted...to find rest in our souls. He woos me with this thought...learn of ME... for I am meek and lowly of heart.  So maybe I wasn't as sideswiped as I thought. Maybe I had to go ...

  It's just too much. So much 'WOKE'. It reminds me of my Grandpa Skrivseth, whenever the conversation would get too deep or too divisive or if there was too much innuendo about anything...he would clear his throat and say, "Let's talk about the daffodils". That doesn't seem to work these days. It seems if a person chooses not to join one of the movements publicly, on some kind of social media platform, that in itself has become a platform of a kind. We have been forced into saying, feeling or thinking something. Just pick something. If you don't, you will be bullied or judged or altogether dropped as if you have no value that you ponder, pray, and meditate on the things of the Spirit privately. Whereas Jesus promoted privacy over noise, commotion, and commerce. Read Matthew 5, 6, and 7. It's all very clear what Jesus wants from us . Might I suggest a way to promote Jesus while being a peacemaker that is quiet, stedfast, and involved? It takes a bi...

I just now noticed there is the reflection of a pine tree in this cup... Anyhow. Yes, this "cup" thought has been marching around my head for at least a month so I thought I'd share it with you. Probably not a new thought. To me it seems like good, solid ground in these, volatile days. I've spent whole seasons of my life not liking what was in my cup and refusing to drink it. I thought I knew better maybe? Or perhaps I didn't get the concept of what the cup really meant for a follower of Jesus. Psalm 16:5 KJV The Lord is the portion of mine inheritance and of my cup; thou maintainest my lot. When I have nothing left, no inheritance, no future, nothing is working out according to my plans; when my life is too difficult for words, when I am bone tired of striving...all this...only  THEN  can God be my portion and cup. But nobody wants to be in that place where you recognize... this is me. Denial is easier. It's much better to post pictu...

I've gotten really tired just doing life. Bare, bald fact. I think people often do exist in a state of exhaustion but avoid the fact and cause by staying busy and 'not going there'. I don't wish to judge, but to speak the truth in love. Why is it hard for most people to...Stop. Drop. And Roll? Or to even admit an emergency situation? John 7:38 AMP He who believes in me (who adheres to, trusts in, and relies on me), as the Scripture has said, 'from his innermost being will flow continually rivers of living water'. Here's the Scripture Jesus may have been referring to... Isaiah 58:11 AMP And the Lord will continually guide you and satisfy your soul in scorched and dry places, and give strength to your bones, and you will be like a watered garden, and be like a spring of water whose waters do not fail. I love the admittance to scorched and dry places...Note to self...It is not wrong to admit a need of change and behavior. Especially when s...

I come from a long line of talkers. Not only are we given the gift of gab we also are given a tactless approach. I struggle with knowing if that lack of tact is in my blood and there's no changing it or if it is a learned behavior for which the grace of Jesus is abundant. I promise I'll keep working at it and asking Jesus for more insight on what I can change for His glory. So imagine my hesitation to talk about racism...For one thing I didn't know it was really and truly still a thing until 2020. I have experienced firsthand throughout my life prejudice. I know what it feels like to be treated with prejudice [Think chubby Mennonite girl with pigtails in a town of liberals who snicker and point as you and your large family walk by] and I know I am guilty of treating others with prejudice. Not on purpose, of course. But when you see someone struggle to get in and out of their car because of obesity you automatically feel superior and judge-y. Until you yourself are ove...