Shilah Writes

It was a warm evening, the sun leaving leftover warmth that permeated from the wood of the pavilion. A sun peered golden pink just above the mountains. It was the kind of evening perfect for sitting next to the love of your life while watching the flames of a campfire dance... Only he wasn't there again. Through out the evening I wondered why had I even bothered to come to this event...but something had drawn me and encouraged to me to get out of my tendency of self pity, to indulge less in my constant sorrow of my husband always working...serving the less fortunate and the sick...to just go and see who I could listen to or encourage. Truthfully, my self righteous thoughts of encouraging others felt hypocritical. I had already totally blown it in my spirit. I knew that the right thing to do was to show up and "Smile, tho your heart is breaking"...  I was bone tired of smiling and giving and doing the right thing. I wanted a gold medal award for how long and ho...

That seems to be the natural worry whenever someone is facing or is in the midst of a hardship. No one wants to hang out where the going gets hard. We know there is no instant bliss for pain that goes deep, especially heart pain. But still, we wonder if we can endure these tests of endurance and fatigue. We might even doubt what we believed to be God's will because of the constant obstacles in our path. Early this summer my husband took me away for an overnight date. A date I pretty much demanded of God (I prayed and cried to God for that date). I felt desperate for attention for us. We simply get too busy coping with school, jobs, and people, that pretty soon there is no more us. We had a lovely, boring time. I found it amusing that boring had become a lovely thing. The next morning, in the breakfast room of our hotel, we (everyone in the breakfast room) were privileged to a play by play of a failing marriage. It was a small room, but seriously, Lower your voice, La...

Things I wonder about: Does God want His people to be dominant? And if someones personality happens to be aggressive and dominant and this bothers me does that say something about my own lack of humility?  How much should we depend on others for our fulfillment? Relationships are important; God created us to be social beings. So why do we go away from social gatherings feeling a lack? Should a Christ follower choose to shut off the extra noise around them for need of a rest? And is it a sign of weakness if you do?  Just because your atmosphere is rock and hardness, if you begin to sprout green fronds and unfold into a beautiful wild fern, you totally should. Grow where you are planted and all that. Don't let your surroundings determine you potential...how cliche...thank you, Little Fern. Nothing is better learned than by humility. When I just am...without overpowering you with my knowledge...and I share my experience and my sorrows along with my joys...the...

Last year as soon as school was out we took our family and sailboat to Florida for a dreamy vacation. It turned out rather un-dreamy. One of the most vivid memories I have on the trip is fixing a boxed dinner while standing over the alcohol burner stove. All of us were stuffed inside that small space with torrents of rain pouring down on top our boat and finding every leak along the hatch and main and windows. Everything was supposed to be sealed. Anyway, it rained a lot. And I was cooking dinner that I knew the family would not enjoy and was feeling pretty lousy about it. It was as if everyone's misery was my fault.  During the times of no rain and a little extra room on the boat, God kept taking me to Matthew 6 about alms and doing them before men to be seen of them. I could not make the connection between feeling like a failure to my family with lack of dry clothes and decent food and soothing salve for the no see um bites and doing alms. Yet that's what kept coming...

It's my mom's birthday. I think about age a lot lately. My parents are extremely blessed with good health even though they are in their seventies. I am extremely blessed to have them in the same community. I know this, yet it seems I don't spend near enough time with them. Or maybe I do. I was home most the week just doing what moms do. I could go over to my parents house every day and check on them, they live only about five minutes from my house...I kept thinking these nagging guilty thoughts that I am a crummy daughter for not being there more. Then I thought how wonderful it is to be current with them no matter what. And that I am current with them even when I'm staying home. I know them and they know me. Even knowing they are of the age that our times together could be numbered, to be on their couch every day checking their pulses would be unhealthy for all of us. Meanwhile I'm thankful they're still around. It's really nice to have someone w...

Recently while traveling through Montana we stopped at a rest area and happened to witness an older lady trip and fall backward on the concrete. Just minutes before, she had cheerily greeted me and we made conversation about the lovely day. I noticed then her shuffling walk and swollen ankles and almost asked her if I could take the garbage to the bin she was obviously headed for, but didn't because she seemed of an independent nature and if our roles had been reversed I would have wanted that respect. While I was in the restroom, I heard a cry of pain and instantly knew she had gone down. Thankfully, Bruce was by her side in seconds and also her retired nurse husband, so she was in good hands. Getting her off the ground was not easy but between the expertise of her husband's experience and Bruce's they soon had her up on her feet. However, something was not right because she felt she couldn't walk or move forward. She kept going forward toward the ground. ...

This type of cactus is only found in the Bahia de los Angeles area...or so they say...It is rather plain and ugly except at Christmas it throws off a beautiful bloom right at the top... Leaving Bahia, we parked the sailboat at the end of a remote road and did a bit of off road driving. Bruce had read about some rock paintings in the area...and a lady from the museum gave us directions here. We drove around for a couple of hours looking...our vehicle did great in this sand... We finally gave up and headed north on this peninsula that is called Baja California. Later that afternoon we drove into a small coastal town and checked into a hotel that was cheap and clean. So nice! After talking to a few locals and eating more fish tacos, we relaxed a couple of hours before heading out to find the Pacific coastline. We planned to be there for sunset...                           After traveling narrow ru...