Shilah Writes

Do you ever wish for a simple list of warnings to do life? Have you ever found yourself in a situation that left you feeling,  What just happened there?  It kinda feels like when you put something together in a way that seems logical but it just won't turn out and then you think, guess I should have read the instructions first. Life can be like that. Sadly, the instructions aren't always clear or complete. Because we are human, we sometimes forget to consult our Guide Book and the Maker of the Guide Book. Sometimes the Guide Book and it's Maker feels distant and very far away. We tend to think that if we go through hard times we just haven't been digging in the Word enough or maybe we aren't as dedicated as we should be to our prayer time. You can go down that path if you want to but frankly, I think it is a waste of time. I find it more comforting to remember Jesus words that in the life of a believer, there will be pain and suffering. He even told...

We are heading into a weekend of revival meetings. I've been thinking about what it means to be revived. It's an action verb which means to restore to life or consciousness or to regain life, consciousness or strength. I like the thought of restoring my consciousness of Jesus and His work in my life. I like that it is personal and that true revival isn't about praying souls into the kingdom, it's about Jesus working on me. Just me. He asks me to search my very own heart during these times and to ignore the thoughts and judgment of others. I'm a critical listener by nature. I do not believe whatever I am told. I must first see good solid reason and proof from God's Word that this is so, whatever "this" is at the moment. To go to any meeting and listen to a pastor expound is often a challenge for me. If I hear too much personal opinion being shared as gospel truth, I grow skeptical, which is really unfair because probably no one has more personal ...

Happy Sunday... Not only were we buried in snow this week, we were also buried in Responsibilities and Doing our Duties.  I wore the t-shirt slogan on my heart "I can't adult today" all week before I realized I was wearing it.  I really don't want to look at Responsibility and Duty as capital lettered words. I want to enjoy the moment and live purposeful and be intentional...those kind of worthy phrases sound so much better. So after hours of shoveling snow both in real life and inside my soul; I find myself sitting in church this morning with this verse staring me in the face. "Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee, because he trusteth in thee." Isaiah 26:3 This week Bruce and I will celebrate our 20th wedding anniversary. Only, we already did in Mexico over Christmas. This doesn't mean we still aren't gonna think about it on Wednesday the 15th. Tho, I do I find it ironic how this time of year is of...

It is definitely February. And winter. More snow is coming down, all fine and silty, settling into the tiniest of cracks. The icy driveways have a layer of dry, fluffy white stuff covering them so when I walk confidently toward the mailbox or car, I am liable to find myself on the ground. I love winter though.  In winter, I learn more about reality and the harshness of life. OK...Love might be too strong of word for this but its speaking to me... I love what I cannot like... sorta thing going on here...please stick with me. I was asking God about this recently. To be more specific, I was asking Him to remove some of the pain involved around my heart during the everyday conflicts I have with my people... Honestly, it's a little like being fourteen again. Almost everyone is kinda stupid. And mean. And I know a better way and your way stinks. Ugh, remember? Back to the problem at hand, asking God about the level of pain He inflicts on my soul is very revealing. Also asking Go...

A common problem at our age is finding out we have gotten a late start on our future. Maybe it's not a late start, maybe it's just how God planned it for us. One night this week, Bruce bounded into the house from his short walk home from the hospital. I could tell he was pumped even after a 12 hour shift.  I was not however, I was exhausted from having spent the day with 15 excited kids sledding, ice sculpting, and making hot chocolate and s'mores. So when Bruce sprinted into the house at ten at night my reaction was to go into my turtle shell mode. "I can't hear you...LALALA" and all that. "Here's how we are going to do the next two years!" This he said with finality and joy.  "Who's we?" was my turtle response. I am not part of we if this was decided while I wore myself out with the school kids and also if it was decided while you were working your shift...  I think these thoughts deep within my shell of safety. ...

Bruce inspired me last week with his views on talent in the arts. Paraphrased, he thinks the art world tends to be filled with ordinary people with over inflated egos. He is especially unimpressed by those who are able to make a lot of money by expressing their ordinary selves, and he claims that these regular people just happened to be in the right place at the right time to get their extra ordinary entrance into the world as "famous". I like that my husband thinks. I also like that he's not afraid to say what he thinks even if not many agree with him. And even if I hear what he says and know what he means, I still wonder...Is that how it is?  Think about this...   Dorothea Lange became famous as a photographer during the Great Depression. Most people have seen the photo of her subject, Florence Owen Thomson. This particular photo smote the nation with compassion for the plight they all mutually felt during that era. I have a hard time seeing that as chance. Fl...

Have you ever watched someone you love go through a wilderness experience of the heart?  Maybe you are the one going through the wilderness. Maybe you feel lost and alone. You have convinced yourself that no one understands your unique situation. I know what its like. I know how it feels to be completely alone in your journey with people on every side telling you how to behave or what you should think. They might even tell you what book you should read to get well. (They assume you are sick if you are wandering.) They really do mean well. They love you and it pains them to see your pain. They want to fix the you that is hurting; they want to help you see a better way, to bring you hope, and to help you out of your obvious darkness.   All they want is to give you guidance. During my times of wandering, it seems that God always takes me back to revisit the Children of Israel. They too wandered. They even had a guide by day and night and they still wandered.  The...