When I was a child I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child.... Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror...
I still have minutes, hours, days, and sometimes whole weeks of reasoning things out like a child, especially when it is things pertaining to love.
Some days, I struggle to see the true reflection of me and my will; my vision is blurred by the tears of my own pain and suffering. Pain and suffering I cause by not letting go of me and my piddly needs, goals, and desires.
When, do we dare earn the right to say, "I cannot do this anymore" or "I am done with this trial"? Is it right to make strong statements of: "I can not stand this one minute more"? And, "I need this need fulfilled now, today or at least by next Friday"?
I know what it's like to think: I must have what I need now... I have felt severely alone and crippled with fears, and if I am honest, self pity.
I used to make these excuses: I am weak emotionally and I am afraid I would crack under the strain of this or that situation. And then I hear stories of those who do amazing things regardless of their circumstances. Some of the greatest people in history have faced the toughest of situations. Instead of breaking them, it seems to have made them.
I guess the challenge God keeps putting into my mind is: HOW MUCH DO YOU TRUST ME? GOD, YOUR MAKER, THE ONE WHO HAS GONE BEFORE, THE ONE WHO DECIDES HOW MUCH YOU CAN TAKE. HOW MUCH DO YOU TRUST INTO MY HANDS? DO YOU TRUST THAT I SET THE RULES FOR A PEACEFUL HOME? CAN YOU TRUST ME, GOD, ENOUGH TO TRUST YOUR HUSBAND AND his DECISIONS? CAN YOU FOLLOW? CAN YOU BE QUIET AND KNOW THAT I AM GOD OF ALL YOUR STUFF?
It's not so fun when God steps on your toes like that, but it does have certain, relaxing qualities. I think I am finding out when I am walking in step with my Creator, I have a lot more strength, wisdom, and faith.
Fact is, it deepens my faith to have to give up what I want and without the time stipulations.
God's funny like that, He likes to take His time and work things out His way. He doesn't seem to care about my kind of scheduling... and also, the bossing doesn't work so well. Or the whining...
And now these three remain: faith, hope, and love. But the greatest of these is love.
I still have minutes, hours, days, and sometimes whole weeks of reasoning things out like a child, especially when it is things pertaining to love.
Some days, I struggle to see the true reflection of me and my will; my vision is blurred by the tears of my own pain and suffering. Pain and suffering I cause by not letting go of me and my piddly needs, goals, and desires.
When, do we dare earn the right to say, "I cannot do this anymore" or "I am done with this trial"? Is it right to make strong statements of: "I can not stand this one minute more"? And, "I need this need fulfilled now, today or at least by next Friday"?
I know what it's like to think: I must have what I need now... I have felt severely alone and crippled with fears, and if I am honest, self pity.
I used to make these excuses: I am weak emotionally and I am afraid I would crack under the strain of this or that situation. And then I hear stories of those who do amazing things regardless of their circumstances. Some of the greatest people in history have faced the toughest of situations. Instead of breaking them, it seems to have made them.
I guess the challenge God keeps putting into my mind is: HOW MUCH DO YOU TRUST ME? GOD, YOUR MAKER, THE ONE WHO HAS GONE BEFORE, THE ONE WHO DECIDES HOW MUCH YOU CAN TAKE. HOW MUCH DO YOU TRUST INTO MY HANDS? DO YOU TRUST THAT I SET THE RULES FOR A PEACEFUL HOME? CAN YOU TRUST ME, GOD, ENOUGH TO TRUST YOUR HUSBAND AND his DECISIONS? CAN YOU FOLLOW? CAN YOU BE QUIET AND KNOW THAT I AM GOD OF ALL YOUR STUFF?
It's not so fun when God steps on your toes like that, but it does have certain, relaxing qualities. I think I am finding out when I am walking in step with my Creator, I have a lot more strength, wisdom, and faith.
Fact is, it deepens my faith to have to give up what I want and without the time stipulations.
God's funny like that, He likes to take His time and work things out His way. He doesn't seem to care about my kind of scheduling... and also, the bossing doesn't work so well. Or the whining...
And now these three remain: faith, hope, and love. But the greatest of these is love.
Well so I suppose there is an balance of knowing that God takes pleasure in us and yet we don't tell him that we've had enough "stuff" for now? I get your thoughts here though.
ReplyDelete