Empty Nest Thoughts

It's been a whole series of wonderful, weird weeks since becoming empty nesters. Days and Nights are taking on a different rhythm than the past 25 years. We still wake up to do a days work, 5:00 a.m. early... on the days Bruce leaves the house for work.

My fingers hover over the keyboard on my phone, tapping out a message to one of the kids, I stop myself from sending it just in time. It is still too early? Or maybe it is intrusive and irrelevant? I'll wait to send it and ask the Holy Spirit to do a little editing while I have one more cup of coffee.

Not that I am an intrusive or irrelevant person. I know this is not true. I have confidence that I love and have loved them all to the best of my ability. But I also see and remember the thing of letting go. Our parents did that well. Now, I wonder if it was harder to do than they made it seem. Wisdom, O God.

The house woke up slowly while the kids were still home. I always snuck out for my morning quiet and had Bible and coffee before being interrupted by someone coming out of their bedroom with sleepy eyes. Then, I would lay my lap of notebook, pens, and Bible aside and go start the daily chores of packing lunches and fixing breakfast. I didn't make a whole lot of breakfasts toward the end but I did try to make food available.

We go to bed whenever. It used to be always ten. We go out for dinner a lot more...three different times this past month and it was always with another couple. I clean and do laundry as needed, not constantly anymore like before. I buy fewer groceries. I talk out loud to God a lot as I am alone more. 

It's been fun, this different pace. But I have to find my way. I have to notice that it is fun. And it's right. A big part of raising a family is getting through to the next phase. It is quite easy to miss the fun and rightness of the phase you are in. I am catching on better to the idea of enjoying the phase I am in currently. During the spring, when planting the garden I was hit sharply with the knowing of this season being special and that I had better notice it.

I'm so glad I did. The garden grew, there were two weddings, we took two big trips this year, one to Italy, and one to Alaska/Yukon. A million other little parts of living happened, of which I did not note, and now I am sorry.

We helped Toria prepare for Germany and saw her off in October. We currently have her dog, Hunnie, living with us while she lives the nomadic life, but we lost our usual pet, Pepper, to Shaunti and Johnny when they married in August.

That is only the tip of the richness we are experiencing on a daily basis. And who would've thought that dogs would have anything to do with it?

Holidays are different now. On Thanksgiving Day we celebrated here at our house with the two married kids and the dogs. We had such a good time making memories together while all agreeing that it was extra quiet and sad without Toria. We went around the table as we usually do saying what we were thankful for, then prayed together, thanking God for all these things...bonding as a family before the throne...but when we raised our heads, a sudden burst of emotion hit me and I choked out, " I do miss my Toria, though". They all lovingly scoffed my tears and also understood. Guess what? Even tears are something to notice as good and right. 

One thing we all took note of was that this would be our only Thanksgiving without a baby. Because Laife and Madi are having a baby in July! Another big change... a good and right one...IMAGINE... being grandparents! I feel like I have stepped out of one room and have my foot barely into the next one. What will be in this new room?

Life is full of goodness. Don't wait for the big stuff to enjoy the moment you are in. And stop waiting for things to get better or slow down or whatever story you tell yourself about when you will like your life. Make a point to see the goodness in today.