Shilah Writes

To panic is to be attacked by sudden alarm, fear, and anxiety and to act out on it by slamming doors, running, or laying down the law. ( my definition ) Panicking is never quiet or sensible. It is often noisy and unreasonable. So, I think it is logical to call some of the chaos in our lives today panic. When we feel out of control with the way the world is turning; we feel helpless to improve the part we live in. Our tendency is to make more rules and boundaries to prevent more bad stuff from happening.  Panic for a Christian is kinda worse I think. We are supposed to have something more that helps us face each storm or upheaval. We are not supposed to lose it. Right? But we do and its because we forget the power we have available to us...For God has not given us the spirit of fear. But of power and of love and a sound mind......... 2 Tim 1:7.  Panic is the feeling I got after birthing a baby and six weeks later looking down into its innocent face and mourning a thous...

As in most things in life there are two sides to this subject. It seems when we take a stand for right or wrong the lines of distinction are even stronger. While I can appreciate the things we stand for in our Anabaptist groups, I also see things I don't appreciate so much sometimes on the same subject. I am not against our trying to hold on to tradition and culture and heritage so long as it is something that Jesus would be calling worthwhile. And that seems to be the problem. We then start to hear debate on what things really do matter in the eyes of Jesus.  Often the people that are chasing after and pursuing the heart of Christ are also involved in helping the poor, feeding the hungry, and being a home to the homeless. Did that last phrase make you feel insecure? And often the people that are more concerned with tradition and culture and heritage are just concerned with those things...those things become their emphasis and it doesn't get a whole lot deeper t...

I get 'too much' before most people I think. I'll be humming along doing life...whatever my people need me to do...and bam! Suddenly, I've had it clear up to here and my joy is gone. Some of the same things that bring me joy regularly are the things that zap it, things like children and friends and a husband... how can this be? Last week I went to the big city with my husband. He had a college class to go to and I needed to get out of my "overwhelmness" so I went with him. After dropping him off at the college; I spent hours alone shopping for Shaunti's birthday, finishing with a few quiet hours at Barnes and Nobles. I sat in Starbucks with my cup of coffee and wrote and people watched and tried to sort out why everyone must zoom and be so busy. Somewhere between the rows of books and the smell of paper and coffee my soul began to feel peace. Little trickles of joy started dancing in my head and so I sat there and had my little moment of worship and ...

It comes back to being thankful. A stumble to the kitchen sink for a glass of water. Dry morning mouth and a numb skull. You peer over the mound of dirty dishes lying there in the sink and you wonder why they weren't done before bed.  This is the time to slowly breath in and out while you gulp down that water, the very meaning of life in that moment. It's as simple as, "Thank you God, for my dirt and my sink and my need for water/YOU." While you pack a few lunches for your working men, you breathe more prayers. You know they will have a few giants in their day, everyone does, and so you put them in God's care. But you are weary from the battle.  You open your morning read, a verse of the day and another little inspiration that encourages you to face pain and to go through it willingly; to stop seeking instant gratification and resolving of whatever current issue you face.  Yes but...your mind scrambles to examine the heart and to think about the fact th...

Three words people tend to snicker about are callings, dreams, and gifts. Maybe it isn't people in general, maybe it is a cultural thing to snicker and make fun of someone's calling or to smash dreams apart. I don't know which way it is but I do think it is contagious, this spirit of “thou shalt not dream” and “thou shalt think/do outside the realms of my reality.” Which is kind of a problem. Without callings, dreams, and gifts, we would not have people willing to write their souls out on paper...we would not have the Word of God... and awesome blog posts that you can go and discuss with your friends. :) We would not have parents willing to face heartache and rejection because they felt the need to foster/adopt...even for one or two little souls...they feel this burden and do their part and long to do more...and it is never satisfied...when is a good time to stop caring and loving and reaching out? Without personal dreams, we would not have doct...

If you are looking for knowledgeable answers this post will be a disappointment to you...it is more an analysis of what I think happens in life and a few of the causes. Maybe you don't get off kilter as I do in relationships and in staying humble and kind and joyful. Maybe you aren't bothered with deep thoughts and the pressures of those who don't have deep thoughts...(don't worry, I know my personality can be a drain to those who aren't nagged with "thoughts".) I don't even blame you. I drain myself. :) Here goes nothing... 1. I think we forget truth and God's morals when we get too heavily involved in politics. We get so wrapped up in our own thinking we forget to take into account what God thinks about the currant news, then say a bunch of stuff that is mostly strong opinions and added chaos. Brilliant. 2. It seems that we forget politeness and good manners and communication skills since the advent of Facebook and Twitter and tha...

On the long drive home from Florida, I had much time to contemplate my house and home making skills and the lack of organization in it. My excuse has been that I teach and have not the time to tinker and fritter away time with cleaning and organizing and the like. But sitting there quietly in my seat, my brain began to wriggle and squirm with ideas of what I could do once we arrived home.  First thing on my list was finding an office space for my- in- nursing- school- husband. Our house is small so this was a little bit challenging. I don't watch Fixer Upper for nothing though. And I am brave. Sometimes. Anyway. I went to a cute little shop downtown and found this sweet old, wooden, gun box. I fell in love instantly because it is old and wooden, and because it looked purposeful being a shelf and container to hold things at the same time. It wasn't in the best of shape but it was inexpensive and I knew with a bit of scrubbing it would be perfect. The best pa...