Westwoods

  That's not a very nice title. Or subject either. But you know...sometimes we need to look at the things that aren't super comfy and take ownership of our part in them. So here goes. Me addressing this part of relationships that no one wants to talk about. I will use myself for an example. Since God slapped me upside the head with the truth that ending slander and meanness and unkind speech starts with me; I suppose it is only fitting that I become aware of barbs and prickles. And I'm not talking about the ones that I receive and the judgement of the ones giving them. I'm talking about becoming aware of my own speech and my heart revealing what it holds by the barbs and prickles that come out and land in places I never intended when I opened my mouth. And don't you go acting like you don't know of which I speak. We all do this. We all reveal what we hold in our hearts by the words we use and comments we make. I'm sure you've heard the phrase, 'hurt ...

  Bruce and I made a quick trip to Germany to see Toria. We carried a backpack each and went minimally, which is great fun for the both of us, until we've been up walking and catching flights for 24 hours. Then, feet begin to hurt and spirits are weak.  We arrived in Germany pretty early in the day and caught a shuttle bus to the train station where Toria had arranged to meet us. Two matronly German ladies engaged Bruce in animated chatter about travel and cultures and age. They thought he was charming as he flattered them with guessing their ages younger than what was visible to the eye. I was too tired to care. We spent several hours walking to a bountiful market and city center and a part of Frankfurt not mentioned in travel guides where we found great food and refreshing drinks.  The market reminded me a lot of Pikes Market in Seattle, tho instead of fish flying through the air, there were sausages, hams, and other cuts of meat hanging from the ceiling and overflowing...

  Praying can often be more time waiting at doorways than entering in to answers. Going through a doorway may feel like an answer, a new arrival to less questions...clarification and rest. But what about the idea of watching and waiting and trusting outside the door in the hallway?  There are many things we learn about God when we are forced to wait, to watch for what He will do, and to trust what He brings us while we do that. Watching and waiting are interchangeable actions that rely on putting our hope in God. Your faith grows and trust in Almighty God is rooted as you practice both.

  Jasmine shares her heart with me from time to time. She's been married about the same amount of time as me and appreciates my honesty about the ups and downs of the aforementioned constitution.  Most people know that I have struggled to survive in my relationships, not only to survive, but also to thrive. I have "metamorphosised" one could say. Still...I am not a butterfly, tho my wings are finally unfolding. I read in my Bible this morning about Jesus' teaching on 'who is my neighbor?' Put another way... 'Who should I care about?' Jesus answer... paraphrased of course...(The one who comes to where you are. The one who sees you wounded and hurt and left alone. The one who has compassion and is moved to doing practical things like feeding and putting on salve, and giving drink. The one who cleans the wound and binds it up. The one who prays for the work done.) If you do all this you are being aware of who and what your response is to loving God and lo...

I was hearing what you were asking. And I know that battle line. Because I've been there too. I know what its like to pray and muscle that thing to the ground...it will not triumph over me...so I pray. God will win. I think God shows He loves us when He gives us these impossible assignments that requires all of our hearts wrestling. Sadly, we don't often recognize it as His love and care and provision for how we can best serve Him in His kingdom. Often it just seems lonely and misunderstood.  We want to explain our position to the naysayers and the ones who think they know a thing or two about our situation, the one they have never walked themselves.  We are tempted to MAKE them understand. We want encouragement and backing from humans. Somehow, that's just easier...to reach out to the humans in our lives.  Instead we could choose to lean in to the pain and lonely road that we are given to walk, to view it as a gift, and to not isolate ourselves into bitterness and anxiet...

    I will sing of the goodness of God! How is it possible for us to hold extreme sorrow and extreme joy in the same cup? My cup runneth over with both. Last week our first grandbaby was born. And my friend had another grandbaby go to Jesus...another angel baby...my friend's daughter lost another baby. A whole family mourns. Life. Hope. Stunned. Gone. It's so hard to see God's goodness in this place. I witnessed the birth of our granddaughter and prayed that Jesus would give me some of the pain her mama was experiencing.  Overwhelmed by the goodness of God. A miracle. Our joy isn't negated by the sorrow of the other. Yet, they both run together in the same stream. How? Why? We are told to rejoice with those who rejoice and weep with those that weep. I didn't know it would happen together.  And this is our earthly life. There are things that happen to us that can look like losses. Or great big fails. Or ongoing circumstances that seem to never change or heal or impro...

  I stare at the blank page. So much to say. So much to process. So much to pray about. So much to face and own and change. This morning I woke up before six as I most often do. Its not because I am extra virtuous. My body awakens and rebels at staying still in bed for even another minute. I quietly padded out to the kitchen, drank a glass of water in the dark, fished around in the drawer for a lighter and lit...or lighted... which one is it??? my two autumnal candles. Next I made a old fashioned pot of coffee...the regular, boring way, while I mused on the testimony of Erika Kirk, which she gave to the nation last night. She mentioned her battle cry. I loved that. Mine is a song that is on repeat in my head for the past solid year.  I will sing of the goodness of God...Erika also mentioned that fact in a whisper while tears choked her voice. "God is so good!" And He is. Meanwhile the season of cozy is here in the pumpkin scones and vanilla candles. Also are the tragedies our...