When God Changes Your Plans Again

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You have heard me preach about my noontime devils, besetting sins, or trials and temptations...You call them what works for you. 

For many years now, I have realized them to be the things that took my eyes off Jesus and kept me focused on me-ism; floundering around gasping for air spiritually.

The things I've named and asked Jesus to keep healing is self-pity, self-righteousness, and emotions and words of despair. He is healing me. But I am a work in progress. Praise God!

Recently though, He brought one more to my attention...abandonment... I never before acknowledged this as one of the things that took my eyes off Jesus. But as I was standing in front of the mirror on Sunday morning combing my hair Jesus whispered this word to me.

Saturday had been a big, beautiful day outside. Spring was in the air. I was able to get actual stuff done with the help of my husband, a few of the children, and a grand baby to boot. But I felt extremely abandoned in it. We burned old branches, cut down a few trees, deep cleaned a vehicle, and went to the dump. We enjoyed the outdoors and sunshine. Why then, you ask?

There are big changes in the air for us here on Diamond Drive. One of them being a Swedish Death clean of our property and house while downsizing. In other words, going minimal.

Also, said grand baby is moving away for a time. The other grand baby lives away from us already. Our kids are happy and leaving and cleaving and this is a gift. It's wonderful, in fact, but it's also sad because I am the mom and grandma.

So we are moving forward with our dreams. Which is boating and having a container home in Arizona, where we already have land. This requires a lot of letting go of things accumulated over the years. Minimizing and letting go of junk is fun for me, but our family and friends and the normal life of work, church, and play? That seems daunting. 

Trusting God feels nebulous as well because Bruce has his last day, today, of working his remote nursing job. He is experiencing burn out in an extreme way. I don't know how to explain that to you and for respect and honor I will leave it at that. Maybe one day I can elaborate more. 

For now, we will take all the prayers and wisdom of God to navigate this as we can. And again, this is a spot where fog and faith collide.  It has to be God that will carry us through. Please make it so, Faithful Guide.

I acknowledged this "abandoned" word to Abba Father on Sunday morning, as another one of my distractions. It was stealing my joy. Yes, I had legit reasons for the emotions I was dealing with, but  holding my joy in bondage needed to go. 

It wasn't denial of the hard things. I did see the three inches of tulips poking their head out of the ground on Saturday as I worked outside. I don't even remember planting them and now I won't grow old with them?

I saw the lilac bush from my friend, Katy, that I planted last fall is budding. Will I not see blooms? I have dahlia tubers tucked in for winter under the guest bed. They are getting better and more abundant each year. How can I give up on them?

But also, I'd just read: Deuteronomy 31:7

God had just spoken to me as I drank my coffee...the words He spoke to the children of Israel through Moses..."Be strong and courageous...the Lord Himself goes before you and will be with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged."

So no, not denial... but surrender and worship. And so much praise because God goes before and with and doesn't leave us.

Stay tuned for more letting go in the future weeks. I will keep in mind the Lord's Prayer..."Thy will, not mine be done".


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