Barbs and Prickles

 

That's not a very nice title. Or subject either. But you know...sometimes we need to look at the things that aren't super comfy and take ownership of our part in them. So here goes. Me addressing this part of relationships that no one wants to talk about.

I will use myself for an example. Since God slapped me upside the head with the truth that ending slander and meanness and unkind speech starts with me; I suppose it is only fitting that I become aware of barbs and prickles. And I'm not talking about the ones that I receive and the judgement of the ones giving them. I'm talking about becoming aware of my own speech and my heart revealing what it holds by the barbs and prickles that come out and land in places I never intended when I opened my mouth.

And don't you go acting like you don't know of which I speak. We all do this. We all reveal what we hold in our hearts by the words we use and comments we make. I'm sure you've heard the phrase, 'hurt people, hurt people'. We often use this phrase as a way to ease the pain someone has caused us. We seem to grasp at ways to understand when a person says or does a thing that feels cruel and without apology. 

When a person is all prickly, defensive, and their tongue has barbs, they are sheltering past hurts and trying to build a wall of protection around their broken hearts. I know because I have been there. I know, because I see people I love do this to people they love.

When people hurt in their relationships, an eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth is a lot more relatable than; turn the other cheek, commit it to the One who judges righteously, and return blessing to an insult. Doing those last three things doesn't feel as nearly proactive as letting loose with matching emotion of the moment. Like three year olds we slip into retaliation and self defense naturally.

You do have a choice you know. You don't have to feel helpless or hopeless when someone close to you has barbs on their tongue or when you do and realize it too late. Ask Jesus to help you to recognize it sooner, both out of your mouth and the other guy, and then learn to bathe that hurt and nasty in prayer and in the Word of God. Then leave it in God's hands. Trust Him to do the cleaning up of your own tongue. He is faithful to reveal His ways to you if you are truthfully seeking His healing for your hurts and reflexes. He will soften your heart and tongue if you ask Him to. And He will be your protection and defense against those who don't know they are barbing you.

When you view yourself as an Ambassador of your KING, you will want to represent a country that is polished, professional, genuine, holy and fit for Almighty God's use. God's ways and truth needs no self defense or outwitting. It stands quietly,  sometimes alone, and in confidence of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ.