Heart Cries

Heart full of quiet, pain, and joy,
Stuff you can't put into words,
But wish you could for fear of bursting.
Saying it though, makes it redundant and Why?
Why clutter up someone's mind
With things WE ALL get to Do? And Be?

Scared after the fact. I was brave during. 
Five days for soakage. And then I realize,
I don't know. I don't know anything. But I feel;
I always feel. Too much. And then I don't know,
What is real? How much is exaggeration?
What if I'm being a drama queen? Really? Me?

And everyone smiles cuz they know,
I am that. But that I do strive for truth.
Thrown against the wall of self defense;
I break and reality speaks these words...
'Humbleness'... 'Kindness'... 'Merciful in judgement'... 

I go to Jesus. Counselor, Healer, Holder of the future.
Reality Checker, Heart Tester, Mind Clearer...
He's got it covered. All is how it should be...
In the finest pair of hands. 

I let it there...
All I have to do is today. Only today...
As humble and kind and as merciful
As He gives the grace for me to do it.