Westwoods

Because I am so very human...I ponder my actions, my thoughts. How much of my inner turmoil is the Holy Spirit whispering changes and convictions? How much is just me at war with self? Because I am so very analytical and opinionated, I cry out to God for mercy and grace. I need it. I want to see my people as hearts, as precious souls. I want them to see me like this too, but I know I deserve when they don't, that I say and do things that offend and trespass against them because I am not unusual and will continue to make ever so many bloopers. Because I have so much to learn. There is nothing that has made me more aware of my lack of God as teaching has. I have never been so needy of 'all of God' as now. Every mistake shows me more that God and only God can amend what I have messed up. Even so, Sweet Jesus, keep teaching me. I've been thinking about my darkness and God's light. It seems there are times of stumbling through dimness and clutter, like grop...

The saying goes, "You can't teach an old dog new tricks". Whether or not this is true I don't know. I do know this: I'm glad we aren't like dogs. Because I am learning new things every day and I'm not very young. Or old. I'm kinda in be tween ages right now. Ha! Someone who follows Jesus should be learning new things pretty constantly. Every day is a fresh opportunity to take one more step into God's kingdom...I've been praying on the side, about my need to be softer, kinder, less expressive, more tactful.  I say on the side, because I wasn't praying in earnest about it. I was trying to also figure out how much of me is fixed personality and how much is changeable. I mean, when you hear how much you are like your mother, your sister, and your grandmother, how much of a chance do you have to be someone else? How much should you pray about traits? So I prayed on the side about it and decided not to worry too much, even to the place ...

When we think we know how things should work... When we convince ourselves the predictability of a situation... When we see something someone else is just not seeing and we want to shake them till they do... When we think we care better and more understandably than that other person or people... When we believe the problem is too big for fixing... When we are floundered with too much craziness...too much human thinking... When nothing makes sense...when everything is a mess... When it hurts so bad and you can't explain it...when words make it worse... I wonder...does God laugh at us? Or does He groan at our haughtiness... our answers... and our works? What if we stop thinking we know so much?  What would happen to our concept of God if we gave Him all the broken parts, pieces, and people in our lives?  What if we let Him take our burdens and our zeal and our passions? Would we matter so much? At all?  If I ask the Holy Spirit to heal my rela...