Hello all, just back from a lovely weekend in Seattle with the Hartman family...(I'll post pictures later this week hopefully.)
In the meantime I wanted to share a little encouragement straight from the wells of mercy...
There were a couple incidents in our travels that made me realize the power of prayer. Again.
Driving over it felt like we were hurling ourselves through space. We weren't really, it was just my overwrought emotions. Cars were headed for us from both sides and I knew we were going to be smashed like so many bugs on a windshield. Every rumble strip and changing of lanes reminded me of the old arcade games we used to play in the strip mall when I was a teenager; always wrought with some obstacle to dodge and barely miss.
About halfway I had a little cry with God. I asked Him, "Why am I cursed with tense nerves? What am I afraid of really? A little help please? Please help me to think rationally. You have given us the gift of comfort through the Holy Spirit; please send Him to me now...You are more powerful than my biggest fears or anxieties. You are able to drive away the tenseness as well..." See what I mean? I was really being brutal with myself...Ha! Thankfully, I had on my sunglasses and hid behind them so as not to disturb my family. For your pleasure is a link to a very fitting song...My Portion and my Strength...
God answered immediately with a calm and a peace that could only be from Him. The mood was lifted in the car so much that I was able to make a joke about admitting me to the psych ward when we passed through a town and saw the hospital sign. Laife, in the back seat, demonstrated with appropriate choking gasps of despair and a running monologue of, "Help, I just can't travel anymore...they are trying to kill me..."
So here's what was bugging me the most about my behavior...I AM JUST LIKE MY MOTHER! When I was fifteen, we drove from Wisconsin to Idaho in a Colt Vista mini van, probably a 1986. It was my parents and me and my two sisters. I remember thinking if we made it to Idaho without my mom loosing her marbles it would be a miracle because her nerves were sure making us loose ours. I boldly made the claim, in a fifteen year old manner, for someone to please shoot me if I ever acted like that.
Let me tell you, I surely deserved to die on Thursday of last week. The wells of mercy was the power of God stepping in and taking over my shot and shattered nerves. (For God has not given us the spirit of fear but of power and love and a sound mind...)
And guess what I found myself singing softly and gently as I put our luggage away this evening? "Thank you Lord for bringing us home. Thank you Lord, how far we do roam..." To the tune of Thank you Lord for Saving my Soul... Now where do you think I learned that?
Maybe you should go have your thyroid checked. Giggle. I think it has been entirely too convenient an excuse for me and my family. Me to explain my fears, and others to blow them off. I believe that the emotions and triumphs we experience as a mom and wife are meant for more than just ourselves. And I tell my family so sometimes. God has some timing going on there, too. It won't hurt Bruce to slow down for you a bit in his driving, nor will it hurt the children to find out you are just clay and so will they be someday. There! That's my rant. Taking the whole load onto thine own shoulders is me-ism, too. We are not an island to ourselves. Go ahead and take off your sunglasses sometimes, girl. God has something for all of us from each of us. Amen. Ok, I'll stop.
ReplyDeleteYup! All of it. We sure grow up fast huh?
ReplyDeleteHere I thought that I was the only one who did this!
ReplyDeleteI just read this n literally LOLed! Sorry bout that...then I read it to Ivan. The thing I thought the most funny is how in our 'youth' the things that bug us the most about our parents is how we usually end up being ourselves n don't like us because of it! Glad you were able to find peace! :-)
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