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My Secrets

I don't have any secrets.  I used to but my kids have given them all away.  A friend called last night and I was in the middle of something so I asked my youngest to answer the phone.  I said, "Tell her I'll call her back.  Just say, Mom can't come to the phone right now."  Instead, my darling said, "Mom is coloring her hair and can't use the phone right now."  So busted.

This same spokesperson needed to talk to her daddy the other evening.  She just wanted to hear his voice and say goodnight.  I think this is sweet and dial her daddy.  He answers right away and is miraculously not too busy to chat with his baby.  I hear his questions through the phone.  He asked, "What did Mom fix you for supper tonight?"  She says in reply, "Nothing."  He says with slight alarm, "Oh?"  She answers, "Yes, but I fixed my own supper cuz Mom didn't want to, so she let us make peanut butter and jelly sandwiches."  Another alarmed "Oh?"   Retorts such as: that's not how it happened and I can explain, are on the tip of my tongue, but thankfully he is called away and that is the end of that conversation.  He never did ask.

I used to be able to kind of pull off tactfulness and kindness.  Now I teach 17- fifth and sixth graders who know the truth about me.  They see me lose patience with their silly games.  They watch me struggle for control when I don't feel kindness toward their childlike spats.  They've heard me apologize for accusing them falsely.  They know without a shadow of a doubt their teacher is human. They know the secrets of my heart without me even telling them.

I was thinking all this over and feeling Guilt and Anxiety and Condemnation, then remembered a little song I heard as a child...It all came back to me tonight, as I stood still and asked Jesus to please be with me in my lack of Him.

 I often ask the kids to forgive me and I also ask Jesus to forgive me.  Mostly though, I feel just plain GRACE by those kids and Jesus too.  I am not so nice on my own, but because I get to grow with the kids and through failures, I have hope for tomorrow.  I think God is doing stuff to my heart that tells all my secrets.

And just for fun here's a link to the song...Let me Be A Little Kinder


  1. Thank you for the laugh this morning. And for the thoughts on grace. Love this post. - Dawn

  2. I giggled. Thank you. I'm afraid that we don't have secrets many here either. Jube let the cat out of the bag about me being pregnant. Thankfully his parents don't keep their secrets very well either so it was no great loss.

    1. Congratulations! I think I had heard that through the family grapevine...? Possibly...I don't know. These days my brain space kinda fizzles out quickly. Hope you are feeling OK.

    2. Was I the friend who called? I thought your daughter told me you were COMBING your hair and I thought it odd at the time that that would prevent you taking my call. Now I now the REAL truth :) That is funny!


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