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    How does God view the conflicts we are in?  Conflicts with people are so complex, especially with other believers.
  I heard on Christian radio this morning, that the way to end conflict is with humility. The broadcaster was saying that the way to diffuse a bomb is not with another bomb... In the same way conflicts with others don't go away with more talking or explosions of anger. Hence, conflict is diffused by humility.
  In Sunday school, we've been studying 2Cor. Last Sunday was about not comparing ourselves among ourselves.  We are having communion on Good Friday so all kinds of self examining is going on in my heart.  Scripture states that instead of comparing yourselves among yourselves, be concerned with what God sees in you. This is something we've as a couple been searching seriously the last while because of some conflicts we've been dealing with in our own lives.
   It's hard for me to hear and understand conflict among Christians, because it is my tendency to please others.  I keep coming back though, to finding out what our place is before God and that is, what He thinks of us as being more important than a human that is trying to change us or one whom doesn't value what we value.
   I'm the people pleaser in our marriage. Bruce is the one who is strong in what he believes. We are about as opposite as you can find a couple to be, but I have come to love and appreciate this difference in our relationship. I value it highly.  God knows, I needed to learn what it means to give up my way and thinking I needed the approval of others. Instead of getting what I thought I wanted, I found peace in learning what God's wanted for me alone to follow which is, letting my husband lead, learning to respect his leading whether I agreed or not, and to back him with prayer and loving support.  ALL this, whether or not others approve.
   The key to my peace is examining God's way for me and if I am following that, God approves. It takes away the stress of what others think.
   How much better it would be if we all would work on our own examinations. And let God test how we are passing, improving, or failing.  When we are all busy on own hearts and lives, examining what God thinks of us, we won't have time to be annoyed or offended by other peoples work or character flaws.
   Yet, we are human. Christian humans saved by grace. Not by our works lest any man should boast. So, I conclude, conflict is good.  Not fun, but good. It forces a person to once again ask God, "How am I doing"?


  1. As long as I learn something from it. I read this and went back and checked the last letter I wrote to a friend. She and I are in process/conflict and I really want to be a help not a hindrance. I think humility is the key and I, of course, need more practice. Thanks for writing this out, Shilah.

  2. Good words. And there are those of us who tend to be conflict avoiders who also need the humility and courage to face the issues.....ouch! Thanks for your thoughts, I get you! :)

  3. Feb. is the month where we face conflicts in our Marriage. In April, we face conflicts outside of our home. Are other families like we are? I feel like I've been thudded down solidly on my bottom and am forced to look at myself and refocus again on, Who am I in Christ? And then it's all good.

  4. Bruce read my non-edited edition of this and said, "yes, it's good, but quite a sermon." See how he's good for me? I looked back over the last while of my blog and saw a lot of sermons. Hopefully I'll feel light and fluffy again one day soon.


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