The Kinds of Friends

I have a friend who is talented at finding the good in others. Most often their first response to what seems like unusual behavior is acceptance and sometimes even admiration. I also have a friend who is talented at finding fault with people and situations and defining exactly how they or it should change, perform, or repent. Is one or the other right or wrong?

I know the person I'm more likely to enjoy is the one whose first inclination is to be accepting, kind, and sees that I am making an effort to work through my problems and character flaws. If I open up to someone and confess my shortcomings I for sure don't want it thrown back in my face later. If I open up and confess, it's because I trust that they will believe the best about me and help me pray through to growth.

But there's a place for everyone. Both kinds of people are useful and needed. I value the friend that is able to see things from a sharp perspective too. They are more painful to be around but help bring about that balance of reality versus idealistic patterns. These are the friends that help you practice grace and forgiveness because their intention is good but their delivery be bad.

 I hate to admit it...I tend toward being idealistic but have a hard time with following through in reality. So the friend that gives the reality check has been good for me in this already crazy year of 2020. But the friend that finds no fault is super comforting, like salve to a wound...so I guess its a win win.

I'd like to thank both, though you will never know who you are. Not telling either.

To the friend that has loved me through with grand acceptance and admiration, I needed that burst of energy that I can do this hard thing and that you believed in me. Maybe you did think judge-y thoughts about me in private but you never acted on them. I love you for that. I want to be like you when I grow up.

To the one that was never afraid to give wise council and clarity, I needed you too. Keep up the good work of honesty even when it's hard to say it. I hope you are able to recognize while your opinion and thoughts were needed, recognized, and valued you can stop assessing the situation now. I got healing. I moved on. Please stop judging me and what I choose to priorities. I am learning what works for us in this time of life.

To myself...it is a work in progress this learning to be steady through the ups and downs. There will always be two kinds of friends. Share with them judicially. Ask God which voice is needed. Sometimes he wants you to be still and hear his only. Other times he gives all three. Trust God to speak through each or all. Most importantly, be the friend God made you to be. You know which kind you are.