Westwoods

It was a warm evening, the sun leaving leftover warmth that permeated from the wood of the pavilion. A sun peered golden pink just above the mountains. It was the kind of evening perfect for sitting next to the love of your life while watching the flames of a campfire dance... Only he wasn't there again. Through out the evening I wondered why had I even bothered to come to this event...but something had drawn me and encouraged to me to get out of my tendency of self pity, to indulge less in my constant sorrow of my husband always working...serving the less fortunate and the sick...to just go and see who I could listen to or encourage. Truthfully, my self righteous thoughts of encouraging others felt hypocritical. I had already totally blown it in my spirit. I knew that the right thing to do was to show up and "Smile, tho your heart is breaking"...  I was bone tired of smiling and giving and doing the right thing. I wanted a gold medal award for how long and ho...

That seems to be the natural worry whenever someone is facing or is in the midst of a hardship. No one wants to hang out where the going gets hard. We know there is no instant bliss for pain that goes deep, especially heart pain. But still, we wonder if we can endure these tests of endurance and fatigue. We might even doubt what we believed to be God's will because of the constant obstacles in our path. Early this summer my husband took me away for an overnight date. A date I pretty much demanded of God (I prayed and cried to God for that date). I felt desperate for attention for us. We simply get too busy coping with school, jobs, and people, that pretty soon there is no more us. We had a lovely, boring time. I found it amusing that boring had become a lovely thing. The next morning, in the breakfast room of our hotel, we (everyone in the breakfast room) were privileged to a play by play of a failing marriage. It was a small room, but seriously, Lower your voice, La...