Longings For God's People

In a single day so much can hit you sideways, like hail on skin. I often wonder why it is that God made some people with better resiliency than I seem to have. Did He make me weak and sensitive and fragile or did I become that way from being worn down and because I don't have my roots deep down? And why is it some can be given far greater trials than I and come forth as gold?

Such questions are too deep for me and so at the end of the day, I run back to the arms of my Abba Father. Once there, it becomes clear that I am not to question my lack and frailties. I simply surrender to worship. I cave in and fall flat on my face in awe of what God is doing. I can't see anything visibly but I know He is doing far more than I can imagine or think...(Eph 3;20) 

Going to church service has been my hard thing, yet it has been my needed thing. Let me try to explain. I go there every day, to that building, since our school and church is combined. I teach the children of my friends five days a week. On Sundays, I go back for a church service and more times than not in the last while, I go without my husband because of work at the hospital or because of the nursing program he is in.

I truly dislike going to church without my husband. It feels very wrong. But it has made me aware of others' loneliness or singleness or widowness. And then I realize how much of this turmoil can be overcome by having my heart in tune with worship. In this 'trial' I have found worship, the kind that says, "Take your eyes of you and your stuff and look at me. What do you see about Jesus today?" 

I now, more than ever, feel the pain of my fellow believers. I pray with them. Pray. We must pray to survive.
The church family in Chile, in Haiti, and all over the world. 
Those in chains...We have chains of our own making here...The broken marriage that seems to never get better...
The loss of a full term baby...the parents grief...Oh, Lord...
The loss of a full grown boy, who wants to go his own way...another girl the same...
Families growing by adoption and fostering...The families that are building houses and moving...Growing pains...the children that adjust to being adopted...Lord, we are all adopted into Your family... I pray with groanings that cannot be uttered...
The family in the neighborhood that recently moved in and then found out the dad has a brain tumor...
 I pray for another broken marriage and family and friends who don't know how to fix what's broken...I know the One who does know...
I pray to discern what is chaff in my heart...I pray the Holy Spirit blows it away. I want only what's needed to dwell there...
Personal desires...earthly triumphs...All of it...Your will be done on earth as it is in Heaven already.

We cannot tie these things up into pretty little packages. We're not supposed to.  Life is thirsty work. We don't come to the Living Water without the need to drink. We don't know how to pray until we are smitten with the need for help.  Yes. All needs and unknowns can be satisfied through prayer. We become satisfied and filled even without the perfectly clear answer because we have faith in the One who does.