I am to the final week of school. I will do the final exams, report cards, awards, end of the year reports, and put away all the maps and flashcards. I will finish a project and wrap it all up all neat and tidy with a bow! Most people get a sense of accomplishment in finishing and putting away a big project. I do to.
However, this morning, sitting in church, I realized that being a Mom is one project I never have to finish. I used to beat myself up at the end of a day when I had little to nothing accomplished of the goals I had set up for myself in my home. Guilt was a constant companion in those days as were the piles of dirty laundry.
I still function better when things are kept up in my housework, tho having a day job tends to take all that starch right out of you. I'm getting better at leaving the work and going if the family decides to go. Yesterday it was sailing. It took five hours out of my afternoon. Five hours that I could have spent doing laundry and baking beautiful, virtue driven, cookies. I'm so glad I chose going.
As we were leaving town a corner of my mouth squeaked out the words, "What about the laundry?"
Promptly my brain kicked in and the other side of my mouth answered, "The laundry is going to stay at home while you go sailing with your family. It is not able to haunt your afternoon of making memories with your people. Laundry, you have been deserted, left for dead. Have a nice boring afternoon!"
Husband sitting across from me grins and agrees with my deductions. He reaches over and holds my hand; something we forget to do now that we are married and boring and forty.😉
The afternoon turns out to be one of the best. It lacks one thing. My son. He is the conquering hero in my 'mom book' this week. I think about this as we sail across the lake, the mountains still white with snow in our view. He likes sailing with the family but even better he likes his independence. This is gaining momentum daily, I think of graduation the night before. It was a special thing seeing my firstborn get his diploma. I must let him go. But I will never finish being his mom. I will never finish praying for him. I will always miss him when he's not on one of our family excursions.
My daughter this morning, gave me a letter that said I should never stop bossing her and that she values my influence in her life. So see, that can never be finished either...
Finally... There is one thing I have found I do not need to finish! My story as a mom will continue to be written. I will never be able to tie it up into a neat little package and put it away on the top shelf of a closet. It will stay... messy and broken in places... because none of us are perfect...but my mom status is forever firmly etched into my heart and soul.