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Winter Dark and You Are My Friend

This is one of those posts that many of you will scan and leave quickly because the content is too deep or boring or maybe it will fall on your ears as nothing...There.  You have been forewarned.

 But to me, it means the breath of life.  A ray of hope shines in my winter dark because of God in His kindness leading me and helping me to bump into these truths along the way...I need this like one needs water in the desert.

Last week, it was a simple line of song that got my attention.  It made me stop and I felt a zing as I thought about these words:  The dark is just a canvas for Your grace and brightness... I will tell you why this means something to me as briefly as I can... Every winter I get dark.  It comes no matter what. So to say, "OK God, since it will be dark anyway,  I give you this blank canvas to fill it with Your grace and the brightness of You...all winter long."  I think by spring, God will have done a smashing job with whatever He wants this painting (my dark) to be.  This thought brings me a ray of hope.

The other thing that will not let me go is the conflict of relationships.  I was sitting in church Sunday morning and feeling all torn apart from having such a full week of go go go and people conflicts.   Just the everyday conflicts are grueling when there are too many on a pile.   Like whether or not I am handling situations in school the right way, whether or not our kids are 'getting' what it truly means to love Jesus, or whether or not Bruce and I are really doing the right thing with our busy lives.  I feel acceptance from some, others seem kind of saddened by our choices.  Or is that just a people pleaser problem of my own making?  It's so hard to know.  Then this came to me...


You are the one who
Makes me see my shortcomings.
You are the one who
Doesn't believe all my thoughts
And say they are great.
You are the one who
Hears me politely, then tells me
Bluntly I am wrong.
You are the one who
Challenges me to dig deeper
You made me question my motives.

Because of You
I run to God for answers
Because of You
I become broken and humbled
I don't always like You;
You hurt me with your grueling work
Of abrasiveness, but through
You I learn the true meaning
Of Love and Forgiveness,
Mercy and Grace.
You are my friend.