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The Lost Art Of Conversation

 Good conversation of course, begins with a comfortable place to be. It doesn't have to be a clean and tidy space, but it should be inviting.

It should be shared with people you enjoy being around. They should feel welcomed and honored to sit at your table and share a space of time with you, void of cell phones and computers.

A rewarding conversation happens when the one who is listening, is actually hearing what the person is saying, not necessarily what it sounded like you heard. Often, good conversation is a struggle of the heart and has a little battle at coming out clearly. Sometimes, those things of the heart need a little time and a little reading between the lines.

Coffee always helps. Between sips you are thoughtful and praying for grace to know what words to use that are encouraging, not empty cliches. There might even be a Bible verse that fits the moment.

I miss a good conversation. I miss life before the social network conversations. We used to have time to start and finish sentences or even whole thoughts. We used to listen better and feel heard.

Real Conversation...
  There seem to be fewer good manners now. Now, we drag our phones to our coffee breaks and check our emails and facebook in between sips. Now, instead of hearing the heart of the matter we catch the surface and drift. We lack caring and concern. We interrupt good thoughts to show each other something cool we saw on Pinterest or Instagram, while the thoughts we were sharing suddenly lose their oomph and it feels pathetic to share them anymore.

The fault lies with myself.  I have bad habits without even knowing how they sneaked into my dailiness.  This morning, my sister was telling me a story, something close to her heart, and my son kept interrupting us. And I kept being distracted by thinking I had to talk to Bruce before he left, don't ask, and so I kept looking over my shoulder while trying to keep one ear                                                                                         open to the story.

All week I thought I would call one of my sisters and talk. All week instead, we send each other short texts that were hard to figure out because of all the gaps of not having enough information.

 I sat with another friend this past week, in her living room and ate the lovely meal she had prepared for me and then returned a text I thought at the moment, was life altering important. Lame Lame. Lame.

This week I going to try something different and try to converse the old fashioned way.  Less action and more listening. Who's with me?


  1. Hey Shilah! I am really enjoying these posts. It would be fun to join you and your family for some coffee and conversation

    1. Hi Dawn, yes it would. It was great seeing your mom one evening last month.

  2. I'm glad she had the chance to go west this summer.


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