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Ending Thoughts On Envy and Selfish Ambitions

Because the others got too long and drawn out; I was advised to edit it, I am just going to summarize the main things I learned and try to keep it short. 

The 4th and 5th chapters were every bit as full. My goal of writing it down, was to inspire you to study it for yourself. The study was good for me. It made me realize that the inner turmoil I often put myself through, is similar to verse one of chapter four. I often have a struggle going on in my being, to have a heart of compassion for the things I don't get. I feel fighting and quarrels and strife in my life when I see things in others that to me seem judgemental and self righteous. I spend unneeded time berating myself when others learn and grow spiritually sooner than I or at least it appears so. 

It was freeing to realize, that is envy and selfish ambitions and it happens when I become too important in my own eyes and forget to praise God for what he is doing in his own sweet way and time in my life. What God wants from me, is is to serve him greatly by serving him humbly. Yes, even in the menial tasks, the unrewarding, and the unnoticed parts of life.  

I thought that some people, God uses in big, important ways, by that I mean, noticeable ways. It is freeing to see, that to God, its all important, as long as the doer is doing in faith and in love of Jesus. God doesn't do that "whole partial thing", like we peoply people do. He gives us all tasks, trials, and talents. No one gets a better deal than another. He doesn't have a caste system. He needs everyone to be working their piece of the puzzle.

I learned that criticism is a reaction to feeling envy and that when I criticize, I am pushing my own agenda and insisting on my own way. Ouch! I saw a friend in church, wearing a beautiful fitbit, and because I want one, I decided that she shouldn't wear that thing to church for me to see. See how that works?  It's subtle and creepy the way those kinds of thoughts can destroy your peace. Calling it what it is, forces you to deal with it. 

I am happy to tell you that from now on, I will never struggle with envy and selfish ambition again. Just kidding. As hard as I studied this, I still have plenty of it raising it's ugly head at any given moment.

If anyone learned anything from this, please feel free to leave a comment. And also, it would be helpful to know if you are human and deal with lame things like this as well or if I'm just special that way.  :)