What do you do when the party is over and everyone has gone home? What do you do when the books you like to read no longer hold your attention, when the thoughts in your mind disappear, and you have no words to form?
What do you do when you have to push yourself to clean anything, when colors seem faded, and creativity goes flat?
Why does winter have to come and linger and go deep into the bones? Are all the winter stages of life this way? Cold. Harsh. A Mount Everest. Achingly beautiful at times. Extreme. Intense. Why must winter feel so white and gray?
Without the winter of life and the season itself, we wouldn't notice the green of summer. Without extremes and cold and harsh, we wouldn't crave balance, warmth, and the softer things we experience. Maybe that's the reason. Does there need to be a reason?
I do know this. Without these seasons, I do go flat. The constant conflict of my environment is what keeps me grounded in the tangible things that give me the strength to keep going. Tangible things like, my Bible reading times, my broken hallelujahs, and my 'faith that does not give way to fear'. These are the things that hold me after the party is over and everyone has gone home.
And another thing I know. It's OK to go flat and not clean anything successfully. Life is colorless sometimes and when a lack of creativity appears, then its time to rest. Or sleep. That's a good thing too. Stop pushing snow while its still falling, so to speak. Let it be winter! Accept the white and gray, as well as the white and gray in life. Color is right around the corner.
What do you do when you have to push yourself to clean anything, when colors seem faded, and creativity goes flat?
Why does winter have to come and linger and go deep into the bones? Are all the winter stages of life this way? Cold. Harsh. A Mount Everest. Achingly beautiful at times. Extreme. Intense. Why must winter feel so white and gray?
Without the winter of life and the season itself, we wouldn't notice the green of summer. Without extremes and cold and harsh, we wouldn't crave balance, warmth, and the softer things we experience. Maybe that's the reason. Does there need to be a reason?
I do know this. Without these seasons, I do go flat. The constant conflict of my environment is what keeps me grounded in the tangible things that give me the strength to keep going. Tangible things like, my Bible reading times, my broken hallelujahs, and my 'faith that does not give way to fear'. These are the things that hold me after the party is over and everyone has gone home.
And another thing I know. It's OK to go flat and not clean anything successfully. Life is colorless sometimes and when a lack of creativity appears, then its time to rest. Or sleep. That's a good thing too. Stop pushing snow while its still falling, so to speak. Let it be winter! Accept the white and gray, as well as the white and gray in life. Color is right around the corner.
Thats so true. What would spring be without winter?
ReplyDeleteBeen catching up with your blog. Loved your family Christmas descriptions! And the Oswald Chambers quote. And your broken hallelujahs. Could that be along the lines of "the sacrifice of praise"? Love you and your thoughts, my friend!
ReplyDeleteYes, I suppose that's is. I picture handing God all my broken toys or pieces. Its all I have. Fix it if You please or show me how to say "hallelujah" when my things are broken... Miss our chats...
DeleteI loved your post about Christmas and the descriptions of your family!
ReplyDeleteAnd this is beautiful poetry and gets me right where I feel it most. But my question is what to do when it feels like winter has lasted so long that you have lost your color and creativity forever?? This could be either literal or figurative.
I read this post while we traveled north after a weekend with my parents and it was definitely the best read of the day. Happy 2015! ~Luci~
Luci, that was my question yesterday too. It seems I know "all this" stuff I wrote, but how to keep the winter from settling into my bones seems impossible at times. Yesterday, I was back to remembering thanksgiving to God. Yes, even this winter of my soul. I did say it to God through tears and a tight throat. I guess this surrender is what is getting me through. Work and my husbands transition into more medical field interests, are overwhelming me and it has felt all uphill being thankful. So, no quick solution but a confession and a' I think this works,' kinda answer.Thanks for the kind words on my words. :) You are very encouraging to me.
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