Have You Ever Wondered?

     

　

What kind of an old lady you will be? I do. I am haunted by the thought that I could get Alzheimer’s and say and do all the horrid things I have thought about doing when I was alone or no one was looking. That should scare me straight while I still have the facilities of my mind. Right?

The other day, Toria was home from school with a fever and I got a telemarketer call on my cell phone. She witnessed me snapping at what was probably a computer voice now that I’ve had time to think about it. This voice told me I had filled out a survey and because of that; I was eligible for blah blah blah. Now nothing gets my ire up more than some sales pitch that tells lies to begin with. I didn’t fill out any survey in my recollection so that was really a poor gimmick for the poor innocent party to start with. Toria was shocked at my retort that told the computer voice that I did not fill out any survey and to not call me again and then I quickly pushed the off button on my phone with my eyes flashing ungodly fire. She kindly informed me that I wasn’t very nice to whoever that was. Oh boy, corrected by a ten year old and she is absolutely right. Thank you Lord, and forgive me again.

When the watchtower people come to my door, they have no idea into what kind of a volatile circumstance they are putting themselves. All the way to door; I am praying Lord, guide my tongue. Something about those people makes me feel irrationally unkind. How can someone so wrong be so dedicated to spreading more error? And how can little old me do anything about it? I have succeeded at being polite to them at least as I reject there literature by saying no thank you, but I haven’t figured out how to nicely tell them they are on the wrong track. They usually leave with a look of pity on their faces creased with deep sorrow for the lost lamb at the door who rejected their gospel. If I had been more vocal; I fear I would have led them deeper astray with my slashing tongue.

So, what kind of an old lady will I be? Go figure. If I have this much trouble being kind when I am still relatively young how can I ever hope to be a nice, old lady? What I am today matters for tomorrow. After snapping at the telemarketer call; I asked God to give me another opportunity to make it right. Just once, I would like to win this battle of a feisty temper. He hasn’t answered my prayer yet. I think He’s waiting till I’m not looking. That’s when I really win the battle; when I do the right thing without looking. Right?